Why Am I Anxious About Money Even When I’m Okay?

Speaker A00:00:00

Have you ever looked at your bank account and nothing's on fire, but you still feel anxious? Yeah. Your bills are paid, income's coming in, and you're thinking, I'm okay right now, but your brain keeps whispering, yeah, but what if.What if the car breaks? What if the job changes? What if I miss something? Friend? This kind of anxiety is exhausting, isn't it? Because it doesn't wait for an emergency.It just lives in the background. So today, we're going to build a plan that is wise and peaceful so your money stops being a constant threat in your mind. Hey, friend. Ralph Estep Jr.Here. This is Financially Confident Christian, where we're breaking the cycle of financial shame and helping you live in financial confidence.And today's topic is one so many of us can relate to. And that's why you can still feel anxious even when you're okay financially. Well, let's get right into today's listener question.This listener wrote, ralph, I'm drowning in financial anxiety. Even when things are okay on paper, my brain won't shut off. It's always, what if this happens? Or what if that breaks?I can't enjoy anything because I'm stuck in constant fear about money. How do I build a wise plan that gives me actual peace instead of just feeding the worry? I am so tired of living like this, and I get that.Thank you so much for your question. If you've got a question for this show, send it to me@financiallyconfidentchristian.com? we'll put that in the show notes.But today's idea, big idea that I called on the show, is peace isn't found in perfect numbers. It's found in a plan you can trust. And bigger than that, it's found in a God that you can rest in. Well, how do we get past that?Because it's a real feeling. I've felt it myself at times. How do you get past that constant feel of anxiety?Even when you're feeling okay, the first thing you've got to do is name the fear underneath the fear. Because in my view, most anxiety is usually not about money. Right now, the list, the person who sent it in. I don't really think this is about money.You ever have that same fear? It's not about the money. It's what money represents. And for all of us, it represents things like safety. Am I going to be okay? Do I have food?Do I have clothing? Do I have shelter? Are my kids going to be all right? It represents control.See, when you have money when you have your finances in order, you feel like you're in control. Now, we could have a whole discussion about, are you really in control? But it represents stability for us. I'm stable.Because maybe you came from a place where money hasn't been stable at times. Maybe you look back to a time in your life where it was really a difficult thing, and you think to yourself, man, I can't fail again.Raoul failed before. I didn't like how that felt. I don't want to feel trapped again. I get all those things. So ask yourself this one question.What am I afraid is going to happen if I'm not prepared? And then write that answer down. Because here's the problem. Vague fear feels endless. But when you name the fear, it becomes manageable.So do that right now. Think about, what is that fear? And then once you figure out what that fear is, it's time to build a peace plan.Now, you notice I didn't say a budget plan. Not a perfect budget, but a peace plan.Because if you've already run your numbers and what you're saying to me is, you're basically okay, Ralph, then stop endlessly optimizing it. So many people do a budget. And then you just figure, oh, I gotta do better on this. I gotta make it sharper, I gotta make it wiser.You're going to drive yourself crazy. Doing creates three simple anchors. These are the big three things. Are your bills covered? Yes. Needs are met. Have you got that small buffer?Is it growing? Even if it's growing slowly? Hey, five dollar ten a week. It's great.I had dinner with my youngest son yesterday, and he said, dad, he says, I've got a decent amount set aside. He says, but I feel like I'm not doing enough. I said, well, what are you doing? He says, dad, I'm putting $10 a week away. I said, that's great, son.I said, that's $520 a year. Another thing I'm going to encourage you. Do that weekly check in. Are you doing that? You don't want anything to sneak up on you.I don't know how many people have reached out to me. It's funny, I was sitting in church yesterday, and I hadn't been to church for a few weeks. It was two weeks in a row for me.But this guy sat next to me. He says, hey, are you the YouTuber? I said, yeah, I'm the YouTuber. And what he said to me, his name was Solomon.So, Solomon, if you're watching, thank you so much for your Comments yesterday. But he said, ralph, he says, one of the things that I do all the time is I do that weekly check in.And I said, yeah, it really does change things, doesn't it? You don't have to be perfect, because if you think you're going to be perfect, you're just going to feed into the anxiety.But that consistency, it starves that anxiety. Here's another thing I'm going to encourage you to do. Create a what if bucket with boundaries.Maybe you're saying, ralph, you know, there are what ifs. I get it. Because our brains are designed to keep us safe. And if your brain keeps running disaster simulations, it's going to drive you insane.So when it does that, give it a place to put them. I think that's totally healthy. Open a savings account category called the what if fund. What if this happens? Put something in it every week.Could be $10, $25, maybe even $50. And don't do it because you feel doomed, but because you're building margin. And here's the boundary, though.Once you've funded the what if bucket for the week, stop rehearsing the fear. You did your part. You've done the what ifs. Here's another thing. So many people live in information overload.You got to reduce that information overload. Sometimes anxiety is spiritual and sometimes it's practical. I don't know how many people I've met, they check their bank act 12 times a day.I think every hour. What's going on here? When you do that, your nervous system never rests. Don't do that. Listen, I'm a big fan of checking it once a day.I think that's fine. But don't do it three times a day. Choose a time window and say, like, for me, I do this every day.I do my recording in the morning, then I check in with my email, I check in with those type of things, I look at my bank balance, make sure there's nothing unusual out there. And you're not avoiding reality by doing this. You're refusing to feed the spiral because you will get into a spiral of that.And finally, I'm going to encourage you to do this. Replace overthinking with a prayer rhythm. See, this is why this show is so valuable to people. And Solomon said this to me yesterday, too.He said, ralph, he said one of the coolest things about your show is he said, you tie faith and finances together. He says, I don't think people realize just how important that is. But when that what if shows up, because guess What? You're a fleshly human.You're going to have those what if. Don't argue with it for an hour. Redirect it in real time. Say something like this, Lord, I feel that fear again. You see it?I'm doing the wise thing I can do today, Lord. Now I give you what I can't control. Just hand it over to him. And then I always like to end it with gratitude.Just thank you today for today, Lord, because I'm okay today. See, that's not denial. That's discipleship. Listen, friend, you can be wise without living afraid all the time.You don't have to live in fear when it comes to your finances. So here's today's single big win. I want you to start that what if fund and automate one small weekly train.So, hey, I want to see everybody having that what if fund. Could be $10 a week. Whatever works for you. Because peace will grow when your plan grows one small brick at a time. Well, let's get to our Bible verse.Today's Bible verse comes from the book of Philippians, chapter 4, verses 6 and 7. This is one of those Bible verses I think we should all write down because they say, you live life like I live. Anxiety comes.But look at what Paul says here. Philippians 4, 6, 7. Do not be anxious about anything. But in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your request to God.And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. I just want to say amen to that. Because peace doesn't come from eliminating every what if. I wish I could tell you, friend, that we could do that.We can't. But what it does eliminate is when we bring every what if to God. Because God is the one we can trust to guard our hearts.Well, let's pray to him right now. Father God, you know how loud our minds can get.And you see those racing thoughts, those what ifs that go through our minds, that constant background fear that something could go wrong. So, Lord, I just want to thank you that today, in this moment, we're okay. Forgive us for trying to carry tomorrow before it arrives, Lord.And forgive us for believing that anxiety actually keeps us safe. Yes, Lord, help us to be wise. Help us to build that margin and help us to make simple, steady plans. But, Lord, then teach us to rest.Teach us to guard our hearts and guard our minds and replace fear with trust and reduce those spiraling thoughts with steady faith. And, Lord, right now we give you what we cannot control. And we thank you so much for your peace. And we ask this in Jesus name. Amen, friend.If you've been anxious, even when nothing is wrong, you're not broken. You're just tired of feeling unprotected. And today, you took a step towards peace.And I just encourage you that because you can plan wisely and still sleep peacefully.And if you've got a question that you'd like me to answer on this show, I want to encourage you to send it to me by going through financiallyconfidentchristian.com/questionnow, I don't often say this, but you can also go to our website and you can actually leave a voice message and we'll play your question right on the show. But again, we'll put that in the show notes. But it's financiallyconfidentchristian.com/question so thank you for joining me today. Stay financially savvy.May God bless you. And you have a great day today.