Why Do I Feel So Ashamed About My Money Problems?

Speaker A00:00:00

Let me ask you something today. Does the thought of your bank account make your stomach drop?Or maybe you secretly carry a burden of financial mistakes and you feel utterly alone, afraid to tell anyone? That feeling of shame around money, that right there is a silent chain.Well, stick with me today because I'm going to show you how to break that chain once and for all.This is Financially Confident Christian, your daily dose of gospel grounded insight and faith driven tips to help you break the cycle of financial shame with confidence. Hey there. Welcome back to your daily Financially Confident Christian.I'm Ralph and I'm so happy that you chose to join me today as we work together to become financially confident Christians. And I'm super excited today because we're launching a new series.Just finished up a 30 day series, but now we're launching another one and this series is called Breaking Financial Chains. Now that alone should conjure up images of what we're trying to do. But I want to go a step further.Over the next 30 days, I'm going to give you ways to overcome those toughest money struggles that so many people deal with on a daily basis. One of the reasons I do this show is I know that people struggle with money and God has gifted me with so many talents.And one of those is be able to help people break those chains and really move beyond that feeling of struggling with their finances. And the truth is, too many Christians carry shame. Too many of us are feeling stuck in financial struggles.And this next 30 days, my goal is to really tackle those common money struggles head on. And I want to do it with truth and I want to do with practical steps. So if this is the first time you join the show, that's what I do here every day.Our episodes run about 10 minutes and the goal is to give you one action item and tie that together with scripture to really encourage you and give you hope. Well, today I want to start with a raw and honest question. It's kind of what I started with the beginning.Why do I feel so ashamed about my money problems? Many of us feel that deep, this isolating shame about money. Many times it's because we were brought up this way.We saw our parents struggle, we saw our grandparents struggle. And maybe right now, as you listen to this, you're facing high debt. Maybe you haven't done a great job of putting away money for savings.Or maybe like most of us, yes, I'm speaking to you right now.Maybe like most of us, you're still dealing with those past mistakes you made that were years ago and you live today in this fear of judgment from your family. You live in this fear of judgment from your friends or, hey, even your church.And like most of us, you put on a brave face, but anxiety is eating you from the inside out and it's just building up. And for so many of us, we believe that our struggles are unique. We're the only one that's ever gone through this.Well, let me just dispel that right now as you listen to this right now. You are not the only one who've gone through those money struggles. Listen, this is what I do for a living.I've been working in the accounting area for 30 years. And I'm going to tell you right now, I've been through most of the struggles that most of the people are going through as they listen right now.They're not unique to you and you believe they're embarrassing. And I get that. One of the main focuses of this show is how to break the cycle of financial shame. Because so many of us live in financial shame.We feel like we're living out this personal failure. And if we're not careful, and I've seen this destroy people, I've seen it destroy marriages, I've seen it destroy families.If we're not careful, it leads to isolation, it leads to silence. And all too often it really prevents us from even seeking help.And when you don't get help, and that's what I'm going to really talk about today as we launch this new series. When you don't get help, it really makes financial struggles feel unbearable. And in many ways it makes them feel worse than they are.But here's the thing I want you to hear today. And I've said this on the show a time or two, but I really want to reinforce this today. Shame thrives in silence and isolation.In that silence, in that isolation. And I'm going to tell you something really bold right now. It is a tool of the enemy. And you know exactly what enemy I'm talking about.If you come to this show and you're a person of faith, you know this is a tool of the enemy. And I want to tell you right now as you listen to this, you are not alone. So many people are facing and have faced similar financial battles.And here's an honest truth. And we're going to get into some scripture right now that goes directly to this. God designed us for community and he designed us for burden bearing.He didn't design us to be alone. He didn't design us to live in isolation. And to live in fear and to live in regret of our past mistakes.Well, let's get right, right into the good book, the book of Galatians, chapter 6, verse 2. It says this, and this just reinforces what I just said. Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.I'm going to read that again because it is so profoundly connected to what we're saying today. Carry each other's burdens, and in this way, you will fulfill the law of Christ.See, your financial struggles are a burden and they're meant to be shared. Now, that's not a popular thing. You don't hear a lot of people out in the hemisphere talking about that.But hiding those, hiding those struggles actually, in my view, goes against God's design for support. And here's another thing I want you to take away from today. Your worth is in Christ, not in your financial situation.So as I start today, I just want to encourage you, break in silence. Breaking that silence that you feel right now, that fear that you're going to be embarrassed, you're going to be judged.Breaking that silence is an act of faith. And it's all about letting God's light into the dark places. Now, as I said, I always want to give you something to do.So I want you to, I really want to answer this question today. How do you fight that isolation and that shame?Because I think that's where we need to start as we start this new series of how do we break free from that sigh, that fear and that isolation and shame? Well, you got to just, you got to just go head on to this. You got to break that silence.And I'm going to tell you right now, I think the best way to do that is just invite one safe person into your struggle. And I'm going to tell you exactly how to do that in just a moment.But if you can do this, it's going to lessen that burden and it's going to take away shame's power. Because what did the scripture say again? Galatians 6, verse 2. Carry each other's burdens and you fulfill the law of Christ.So here's your one action step for today. Like I said, I'm always going to give you one action step today. The big goal today is to fight that financial isolation.So I want you to just identify one safe person right now. Think of someone you truly trust and listen.There are, you might be saying, ralph, there aren't many people that I truly trust, but I bet there's somebody out there, maybe your spouse, maybe a close friend, maybe a mentor, or maybe just another wise believer. So think about that person you trust, someone that you think will respond with grace, not judgment, because that's a big part of this.And I just want you to write their name down. I'm a believer that what you put on paper you'll do something about. So start there. Identify that one safe person.Once you've identified that safe person, I want you to plan your approach. And this doesn't have to be some elaborate plan, but just keep it simple. But plan your approach.Now, I'm going to say a lot of people think they've got to unload everything. This is not the time for a full disclosure yet. You might get to that with this person as you build up that trust. But think about something like this.You approach somebody and you say, I've been feeling stressed about money and I need to talk a little. Would you be willing to talk to me?And if you found the right person, I can guarantee what you're going to hear next is, absolutely, let's sit down and talk, just you and I. So figure out that person. Plan your approach and then pray. Because, listen, this show is all about prayer. I believe in the power of prayer.I believe it to the very ounce of everything in my soul. So before you even reach out, just take a pause and breathe and just ask the good Lord himself. Ask him for bravery.Ask him for guidance for that conversation, because he'll give it to you. He'll give you that bravery, and he'll give you that guidance. And then I'm going to tell you to just go ahead and take that step.One of the things you're going to learn about me, if this is the first time you've listened to me, is I'm all about action. Intentions are great, but action is what really accomplishes something. So reach out today.Make that call, send that text, or maybe approach that person. Meet that person in person. Just take that first step to break the silence. That's what we want to do today. We want to just break that silence.And when you do, you're going to directly fight that shame. You're going to directly fight that isolation. You're going to bring that difficulty into the light.And as Galatians 6:2 said, it allows for burden sharing and it opens door to support. It opens the door to wisdom. And hey, guess what? It opens the door to prayer. The two of you can pray together. Let's do that together right now.Let's pray together right Now Father God, we just thank you for seeing us right where we are. And Lord, you see us with all of our worries and our fears about money.And we confess the temptation to hide and feel shame, Lord, believing that we're the only ones struggling. And we just thank you for the gift of community and for calling us to share our burdens.And Lord, right now I pray specifically for my friend listening Right now. I just pray that you would give them courage to identify that one safe person in their life. Maybe they don't have somebody right now.Bring somebody into their life, Lord. Show a teacher where they need a teacher and encourage them to take that brave step of breaking the silence today.Lord, I just ask that you would guide their conversation, bring your peace into their heart as they share and let them feel your presence and the support of your people. And we ask this in confidence, Lord, in Jesus name, amen. Listen, you are absolutely not alone in your money struggles.I want you to hear that right now. You don't have to carry this burden by yourself. So take that action step today. Reach out to that one safe person.Because here's the thing I want you to hear. You are stronger and more supported than you think and you're building amazing habits here. I'm going to encourage you right now.If this episode has resonated with you, I want you to share it with somebody who might need to hear it. There might be somebody else who's feeling exactly the way you're feeling. They're battling that shame. They're battling that isolation.You could just point them to our website. That's financiallyconfidentchristian.com and hey, I've got a special gift for you on your journey.I just finished writing a new book and it's called how to Become a Financially Confident Christian. And I want to give you a copy of that book. You can go to financiallyconfidentchristian.com/becoming.It's not a big in depth book, but it will help you start to break that cycle of financial same and step into that level of confidence. That's what we're talking about in this cycle, breaking that cycle of shame.So go to financiallyconfidentchristian.com/becoming and get your free copy today. Now tomorrow we're going to continue on this new series and we're going to tackle another tough hurdle.Why you might be so afraid to look at your bank account and how to face those numbers without panicking. So I'm going to encourage you right now.Don't miss it and make sure you join me so my charge for you right now is let's all go out there and be financially confident Christians. You can do this. I have confidence in you. Have confidence in yourself. Stay financially savvy. God bless you. And you have a great day today.