Why Do I Feel Guilty Spending Money on Myself?

Think about this: you can swipe your card for your family in a heartbeat, no debate and zero guilt. But the moment it's something just for you, your hand freezes, and your mind starts accusing you. Why is it so easy to spend on others but not on ourselves? Why Do I Feel Guilty Spending Money on Myself?

Today, I am focusing on how you can spend with wisdom without feeling like you're doing something wrong. Hello, friend, I'm Ralph Estep Jr., and this is Financially Confident Christian. Each day, I’m helping you break the cycle of financial shame and do it with confidence. Today's topic hits close to home for so many of us: why spending on ourselves feels wrong and more importantly, how to choose healthy, God-honoring self-care without guilt. 

Facing the Struggle of Self-Spending 

One of our listeners recently shared a heartfelt question: “Ralph, I can buy things for my family without hesitation, but the moment I think about getting something for myself, I just freeze up. Even normal stuff like new shoes or coffee makes me feel guilty. How do I stop feeling like taking care of myself is wrong?” 

First of all, wow, you’re being super vulnerable and honest, and I want to thank you for that. Recognizing the situation is almost half the battle. Today, I want to delve into how we can make that guilt fade by defining the difference between stewardship and self-neglect. 

The Tale of Holy Underwear 

Let me share a personal story about my mom’s “holy” underwear—not religiously holy, but physically worn with holes. This memory perfectly highlights the sacrifices my mom made. She raised my sister and me as a single mom, always giving to us, but neglecting herself. I remember finding her undergarments full of holes and asking her about them. She simply said, “I sacrifice so you and your sister can have.” This captured who she was—a loving, giving person, sometimes to her detriment. 

Her story taught me a valuable lesson. To break past this self-imposed guilt, we must identify the voice inside our heads—is it conviction or condemnation? 

Conviction vs. Condemnation 

As Christians, we understand conviction as a gift from the Holy Spirit—specific, gentle guidance for better decision-making. In contrast, condemnation is vague, harsh, and tells us we don’t deserve good things. Reflecting on my mom, she likely experienced a mix of both, but more so condemnation, keeping her from spending on herself. 

If you’re feeling this way, recognize that God is not punishing you for wanting to care for yourself. 

Practical Steps to Overcome Guilt 

1. Naming the Voice: Determine if the voice inside is one of conviction or condemnation.  

2. Yes with Limits Category: Allocate a small budget line (personal care or joy) to ensure balanced spending on yourself. Even $5 or $25 each week, depending on your situation, can make a difference. If it's in the plan, spend it with peace. 

3. Clarify Before Spending: Ask yourself if the purchase supports or sabotages your responsibilities. Need socks for work? That’s support. Impulse buying? That could lead to stress and sabotage. 

4. Replacing Guilt with Trustworthy Rules: Create spending rules you trust. If it's in the plan, it’s okay.  

5. Practice Receiving: Allow yourself to accept gifts and joy. You’re not earning rest by suffering. 

Self-Care Is Part of God’s Plan 

Emphasize wise self-care by remembering Mark 12:31: “Love your neighbor as yourself.” God doesn’t want you living in guilt-driven neglect. 

Let’s pray together: Father God, You see the guilt we feel when spending on ourselves. Replace our condemnation with Your truth. Give us wisdom, strength, and freedom to receive care without shame. Amen. 

In conclusion, financial stewardship is not about punishment. It’s about nurturing joy and health in yourself so you show up stronger for others. Go ahead, spend a little on yourself today—make sure it fits your budget, and feel the peace that comes with permission. 

Thank you for joining me on the show today! If you have a question, I’d love to answer it on Financially Confident Christian. Visit financiallyconfidentchristian.com/question. 

Stay financially savvy, and God bless you. I'll see you again tomorrow!