Ashamed of Budget Mistakes? Let’s Debrief Without the Guilt

Speaker A00:00:28

Thought I'd start with an insight. This is from Mint and it says 65% of households can't stick to a budget for three months.We didn't do the research, but I bet it's even a higher number that can't do it for one month. I. Listen, let me. I've struggled with budgets, too, which leads me to today's listener question. Ralph, my budget fell apart again this year.How do I face the numbers without feeling ashamed? Listen, you're not alone in that. But budget guilt is a trap. You can't stay trapped in that.That mindset will make you unable to move forward because you didn't fail. I want you to start by understanding you didn't fail. You learned. Because grace covers spreadsheets too.Let's talk about learning from our budget mistakes on today's show.

Speaker B00:01:08

This is Financially Confident Christian, your daily dose of gospel, grounded insight and faith driven tips to help you break the cycle of financial shame with confidence.

Speaker A00:01:20

Hello there and welcome. I'm Ralph.Thank you so much for joining me on your daily adventure of helping you break that cycle of financial shame and, and doing it with confidence. And today we're talking about budget failure, you might say, Ralph, man, you're really nailing the tough topics this month.Well, the whole point of this series is to help refocus and get us ready for a strong and healthy 2026. And I've helped people just like you turn budget failure into financial freedom. Yes, you heard me right.A budget failure is actually a great sign because here's why. You're using the budget. That means you're committed to doing it.And I've learned, and I've been there myself, and I've learned how grace builds growth. Well, let me tell you about some grace working with my youngest son. And my youngest son is 24 years old. He's a barber, right?He's just getting into his own. He's starting to develop some, bringing in some money.And he said, dad, you know, one of the things I'm really struggling with is he says, I really need to figure out how to direct my money better. I said, well, son, what you need is a budget. As soon as he heard budget, he's like, he's checking out. He's like, dad, I got no time for a budget.You're not going to sit there. And of course, with a teenager now, he's not a teenager anymore, but he'll always be my little boy, right?But you know, he's like, dad, what you're talking about is restriction what you're talking about is you're going to tell me where to go. And I'm saying, no, that's not at all what I'm saying.I said, what you need to do is figure out where your money's going to go because then you're telling it what to do. And he said, dad, this is impossible. I'll never be able to figure this out. I said, well, here's the thing I want you to do, and this is the thing.I encourage every person that I work with. Start with some honesty. I said, son, go back and look at the last 30 days of where your money went, because that's where you got to start.You got to be honest with yourself. I said this on the show the other day. You can't sugarcoat this.You got to start off with what is the realness before you can start to build that budget moving forward. I said, listen, celebrate some small wins. I said, listen, this past month, did your credit card carry a bounce? He said, no, Dad.I said, great, you're not spending yourself into deficit. I said, but let's take a minute. Let's look at the patterns. And one of the big patterns he found is he likes to eat out. He's a bachelor.He's a young guy, has his own apartment. He what's so much easier if he stops and picks up takeout or he goes and grabs some lunch or dinner somewhere?I said, but you gotta understand, son, how much more that cost you. I said, if you pack your lunch, if you make dinners at home, you can save a ton of money. And he goes, dad, listen, I'm really excited about this.And I helped him build a stronger plan. And I love what Dave Ramsey said. I'm not often in the same realm as Dave Ramsey with some of the things, but this one is right on point.He said, a budget is telling your money where to go, and you instead of wondering where it went. And I'm going to use that with my son. As I was preparing for today's show, I said, I want to help him be encouraged.And I'm going to tell him that a budget is telling your money where to go instead of wondering where it went. He doesn't want to hear good old dad telling him what to do, but, man, he likes to know where his money going.Which leads me back to today's question. And that's really the core of what we want to talk about right now. And that's how do I face the numbers without feeling ashamed?It's so easy to feel Ashamed that you're stuck. And that budget failure, number one thing. And I said this to my son, you gotta be honest. Because truth unlocks freedom.You gotta face where your money went. If you're going back and looking at the 30 days, face where it went. Because that's the only way you're gonna take back control.And you gotta remember, honesty isn't punishment. Honesty is actually the doorway to peace. Because you can't fix what you won't face. If you don't face it, you're never gonna fix it.One things they talk about in Alcoholics Anonymous for people who have issues with alcoholism is you got to face that. You got to face the challenge in front of you. Because God can heal what you reveal. That rhymed. I thought that was really good, right?But God can actually heal what you reveal. And that truth, listen, it stings sometimes. It hurts. But denial, if you keep living in denial, it's going to cost you more. So, number one, be honest.Number two, celebrate those wins. Because those small habits hide big victories. You didn't fail. You grew inconsistency.So maybe you say, ralph, listen, I'm really focusing on eating at the house instead of buying stuff. Well, maybe you say, well, you know what? One night this week, I actually order takeout. That's great. That means the other six nights you didn't.And God sees that faithfulness in those small steps. And as you develop those small steps, it's going to bring freedom. That one no to impulse spending is a win.You might be saying, ralph, like, every time I go on Amazon, I buy something. Okay, well, maybe this next time you don't. That progress isn't perfection. It's just quiet obedience. So celebrate those wins.Number three, look at those patterns. And I've said this on the show many times, your money reveals where your heart is.That might sound a little harsh, but where it flows, that's where your priorities are.So repeated choices, those things that you decide to do again, like with my son, when he decided, I'm always eating out, he always eating out of lunch. It reveals what truly matters to you. So ask yourself, what is this habit saying about my heart? See, God doesn't shame patterns, he reshapes them.So start by looking at your patterns and revealing where your heart is. Number four thing is the why awareness turns guilt into growth. Ask why. You don't ask this. Don't ask, why did I fail?But ask yourself, as you're buying something, why did I need that? And that's not an easy thing to do. Listen I'm guilty of this myself. But that awareness, that asking of why puts the meaning behind your mistakes.And then you know your triggers.And when you finally know the triggers, maybe you stay off Amazon, maybe you don't get into that scrolling on your phone on TikTok, where they're always trying to sell you something. I would go off on, on social media again. But when you do that, you regain your power. Because if you don't, guess what? Guilt keeps you stuck.If you just stay guilty, I'm never going to get this. You're going to stay stuck. But grace moves you forward. And we're all covered with the Lord's gr. And number five, you got a plan.See, grace builds better budgets. You don't need to be perfect. If you hear nothing else, I say today, you don't need to be perfect. You need to be redeemed.And grace says, learn, then move forward. Because every setback leads to wiser planning. And listen, here's one thing I'm going to tell you right now.Key takeaway today, invite God into that next budget, not the next breakdown. So easy to call out for God when you're struggling, but invite them in at the front end as you're building that budget. So again, honesty.Celebrate those wins, look for those patterns, understand your why and make a plan. Let's get right into our Bible verse today. It comes to us from the book of Proverbs, chapter 27, verse 23.And it says, be sure to know the condition of your flocks. What is it telling us that we need to have awareness? I'll give you a great example.I was out walking the other morning and we raised Black Angus cows here on the farm. And I actually have somebody that's taking care of that for me now.But I turn the corner, I'm walking with my dog, and all of a sudden I look over and there's this little thing in the patch. I'm like, what's going on? Well, guess what? We had a baby bull calf born. We weren't expecting it.And I texted the farmer and said, hey, guy, guess what? We've got a cav. And he was excited. I was excited. We were proud papas for the day. But we have to know the condition of our flocks.The same thing works with your money. Know where your money's going so that you can plan to do good with it and you can truly steward the provision that God's given you.How about we pray right now?So, Lord, we come to you right now and we are just grateful for the honesty that you have in our lives, Lord, give us wisdom to adjust those habits that aren't where our heart needs to be, Lord, help us to really examine those things and help us to live with freedom from guilt because it's so easy for us to get stuck in that quagmire of guilt, Lord. And we just thank you in the name of Jesus. Amen. Okay, so here's your action item for today. A little homework, if you will.I. I want you to go back and look at your last three months of spending.Now, I know usually I tell you 30 days, but I want to broaden it a little bit because we're trying to focus on getting a strong finish to the end of this year and moving on to the next one. So go over your last three months of spending on your credit cards and bank statements and circle one Success. Yeah, you heard what I said.Start with a success. Maybe that you're not eating out as much. Maybe you're brown bagging it for lunch.Maybe you're making better decisions about impulse buying at the same time. Circle one area to improve. Just one success item and one area to improve. And then work on it.And while you're talking about that, I want to invite you to our financially confident Christian community. This is a place where we talk about what most people hide. We talk about money, mistakes. We talk about mercy.And it's a great place to find other believers who've been where you are, will help pray with you and will help push you to grow. So don't do faith and finances alone. Join the group. You can get to it by going to financiallyconfidentchristian.com/join again.That's financiallyconfidentfinancialchristian.com/join. why don't you join the group? You're going to find it to be great. It's absolutely free now. You can support the show.There are some great upgraded tiers, but check it out at financiallyconfidentchristian.com/join. And as I close out today, remember this, grace always wins over guilt and reflection is the bridge to redemption. And every mistake is a message.Every loss is a lesson. You're not falling behind. You're being prepared. So keep showing up. Keep. Keep trusting and keep learning. Because God's not done writing your story.Go out there today and be a financially confident Christian. Add to your story. Show that you can do this. I am confident in you. More than me, Christ is confident in you. Stay financially savvy out there today.God bless you. And I hope you join me again on tomorrow's show.