How Do I Escape the "Keeping Up with the Joneses" Comparison Trap?

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Does it feel like you're constantly running a race, you know,

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trying to keep up with what everyone else has, and it's just draining your

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energy, it's draining your joy, and frankly, it's draining your bank account.

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What if you could step off that treadmill and find true freedom

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from that comparison trap?

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Well, stick with me today because your breakthrough starts here on today's show.

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Hey there.

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Welcome back to your Daily, financially Confident Christian.

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I'm Ralph, and it's always great to be with you again.

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We continue to answer that deep seated question.

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How can I become a financially confident Christian?

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And we're in week two of our series, beyond the Budget, finding Financial

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Freedom through Intentional Living, and we've tackled contentment.

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We've talked about gratitude.

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We've talked about spending by values, trusting God.

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And a little bit about impulse control, and today we're gonna talk

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about how to escape the keeping up with the Jones' comparison trap.

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Listen, I dunno about you, but I wanna meet them because

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they've got a ton of great stuff.

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Just think about it for a second.

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You scroll or chatter, you walk through a neighborhood and all of a sudden you

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see it, that new car or maybe those vacation pictures, or your friend

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sends you that pictures of their remodeling and all of a sudden you

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start to think, man, I wish I had that.

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Your own life feels lacking and you start upgrading, Not because you need it.

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'cause of that comparison.

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You're trying to keep up with the Joneses, that's what you're doing,

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and in the end, what does it do?

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It drains your energy because you spend all your time trying to keep up

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with something you can't keep up with.

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It causes you to go into debt.

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I've seen so many people do that, and the most sinister part of the whole thing.

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And I want you to hear this, it breeds anxiety because in the end,

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you're chasing this moving goalpost.

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It just keeps going farther and farther out.

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It's like a football field that just doesn't stop, and you never get to

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that point of feeling secure and that, that, that comparison, it just

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kills your joy and it just completely halts your financial progress.

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Here's the thing.

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You gotta understand, our culture feeds off of this comparison, especially online.

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I, I call it the, the, the, the highlight reel of Facebook and Instagram,

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and you name TikTok, all of them.

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It's all about comparison.

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Look what I have, look what I have.

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You need to have this too, but I want you to take a second and just talk

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about what scripture warns us about.

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Look at the Book of Exodus now, often get to the book of Exodus, but Exodus

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chapter 20, verse 17 says this.

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You shall not covet and covets all about comparison.

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Look at the book of Philippians chapter four, verses 11 to 13.

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I have learned to be content.

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Whatever the circumstance is, I can do all things through him who gives me strength.

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Well, let's just sit here for a second and think about this.

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What is the scripture saying?

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I have learned to be content, whatever the circumstances, and I can do all things.

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Not some things, all things for him who gives me strengths.

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And see, here's the thing I want you to really understand.

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We make a very bold statement.

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Comparison is covetousness in disguise.

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That's what it is.

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Thou shalt not covet.

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One of the, one of the main sins of the Bible, well comparison is just that.

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And on the other side of that coin, contentment.

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let me just tell you right now, that spiritual strength, because here's

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the thing, you've got to recognize.

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If you take nothing else away from today's show, God has a unique path

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for you, not your neighbor's path, not your friend onlines path, not your

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girlfriend from work, whoever that is, God has a unique path just for you.

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you weren't ever called to, take someone else's journey.

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That's their journey.

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Your journey's a different path.

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God has a different plan for you.

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So now you're asking what can we do?

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How do we step off that comparison treadmill, Ralph, it's so hard to not

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compare myself to what I have and what the other people don't have or what I don't

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have, and they have you ready for it.

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It's a little bit bold, but I think you gotta practice what I'll call

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radical contentment and guard your heart from those comparison triggers.

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You're like, oh, oh, that's a lot of word, Ralph.

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What does that mean?

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It means to celebrate others.

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Celebrate when they have success, and then focus on your own unique purpose.

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So I'm gonna give you an action step today to really help you get

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past this comparison to the Joneses.

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And it all starts with looking at the, we talked about a

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lot about triggers yesterday.

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I'm gonna talk about some more today.

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You gotta learn to limit those comparison triggers.

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So I'm gonna encourage you right now to identify one

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place that triggers comparison.

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Maybe for you, it's at social media.

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We talked about that.

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I'm scrolling through Facebook and, oh, look at the new car this one has,

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and look at the vacation they're on.

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Or look at that fancy new watch or whatever that is.

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So maybe for you it's social media, sometimes it's a store.

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You're in the store and I say, oh, I, I gotta have this.

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Or maybe it's just a person you're around.

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And you're like, okay, gr, that sounds good, but how do you do it?

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Well, unfollow, mute, avoider.

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Even if you have to do it for just a week.

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Lemme give you some examples.

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So let's say that your triggers Instagram stories, you'd love to watch

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Instagram 'cause you like to see what influencer are doing, showing those

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luxury vacations and it starts to make you feel, I, I wish I could do that.

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I, I wish I had that option.

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I wish I had the money to do that.

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That's a trigger for you.

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How do you battle that trigger?

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Unfollow them or mute those accounts for seven days.

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Maybe you mute 'em forever 'cause you don't need to hear what they have to say.

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And then just take a look a couple days after that and say, how's my mood now?

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Because I think you're gonna find your mood's gonna change.

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How about this?

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Maybe you're walking through high-end stores at the mall and as you do

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that, I just don't measure up.

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Of people feel that I, I've been at the mall before.

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I'm like, I'm walking through.

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Look, for me, it's always been a weight thing.

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Always been a little bit too big to wear the clothes that you find at the

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mall, and that was this comparison.

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I, I wish I could wear that.

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Obviously that's a trigger for me.

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So don't go to the mall.

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Avoid that shopping area, even if you do it just for a week.

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And if you're, well, that's a way to get exercise.

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Go for a piece of walking in the outdoors or visit a library.

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Avoid that trigger.

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How about this trigger?

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Maybe you've got that coworker who constantly talks about their

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latest purchases, man, every day around the water cooler.

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They're just talking about, I did this, Ralph and I did that, and I, yes.

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Great.

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Well, one of the ways you can avoid that is cut that small talk out together.

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Maybe just do it for a week or, or redirect those conversations to topics

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that don't stir that comparison.

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You're like, okay, Ralph, I can avoid the triggers.

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But then you mentioned something a few minutes ago about that envy thing.

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'cause honestly, I think that's the bigger part of this, and that is what

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do I do when I'm tempted with envy?

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I'm gonna give you a couple examples of this.

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I mean, basically I want you to just say, you know, thank God for blessing

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them, help them help me rejoice them.

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But lemme give you some examples.

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So let's say you have a friend and a friend post about buying a new car.

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Hey, they got the fancy, you were like, oh wow, I wish I could have that car.

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But a friend post about that, he bought a new car.

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Here's what I want you to say to yourself.

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thank God for blessing them.

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You gave them an opportunity and then help them to celebrate that.

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Hey, that's so cool.

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That's a cool car.

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I'd love to go for a ride in it sometime.

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Or maybe you've got this family member who shares about getting a

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raise or a promotion and working.

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Man, I'd love to get a raise.

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I haven't had a raise in forever.

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Promotions.

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They don't even do those here.

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And maybe at that point you say, God, listen, I trust your timing for me.

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I know it's not my time yet, but Lord, I sure.

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Thank you for their breakthrough.

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See, I'm, I'm flipping a script on that envy, or maybe this

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one, and I felt this one myself.

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Someone shares their weight loss transformation or maybe

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they remodeled their home.

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You're like, man, I wish I could lose weight like that.

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I wish I could be that skinnier.

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I could be that, that, that it ain't shape and you know, I

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wanna compare myself to them.

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No, but don't do that.

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Just say, Lord, thank you for working in their life, and Lord, just teach

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me to be joyfully present in my own.

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So find ways to break that envy and then do this.

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And this is absolutely critical.

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Focus on your unique path.

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How do you do that?

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Here's what you do.

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Write two or three blessings unique to you.

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You know, maybe you have a strong, supportive spouse.

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Well, you don't know what that other person's going through yet.

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Maybe they got the brand new car, but their spouse or

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relationship is a nightmare.

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Or maybe you have the ability to work from home.

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You don't even have to deal with the water.

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Cool.

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And you see everybody else leaving the neighborhood in the morning where you're

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like, cool, I can work in my pajamas.

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I don't have to go anywhere.

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Or maybe you've got a garden.

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And that garden just brings you peace.

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And then as you reflect, say, Lord, just thank you for this simple, rich life.

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I don't wanna trade it for anything.

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See, that's how you break that comparison.

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You start looking at your blessings.

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Maybe look at your skills.

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Maybe you're listening to this right now.

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You're saying, Ralph, you know what I've done the things you talked about,

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man, I am doing great financially.

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Well, there's a blessing.

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The Lord has blessed you.

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He's given you a second chance after a financial hardship, and maybe you

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have the skills to help other people.

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Or maybe your children make you laugh every day and just

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think about it like this.

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God, I see how you've been faithful to me, and Lord, help

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me to stay focused on the road.

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You've marked for me my path.

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And now you're probably saying, Ralph, how does this help?

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Well, here's what it does.

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Obviously it disarms that envy.

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That envy is what causes you to stay stuck in that cycle of comparison.

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It truly reframes your, it reframes your blessings.

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And when you do those things, it brings you peace and it

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brings you focus on your path.

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Well, let's pray together.

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Father God, we just thank you for designing us all uniquely

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with our own paths and our own things that make us who we are.

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And Lord, we confess to you right now that we fall into that comparison cycle.

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We just do, Lord, it's who we are.

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Help us to break free of that, free us from that envy Lord, and free us from that

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false identity that lies to us and tells us that we need to be something we're not.

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And help us find contentment and help us to find clarity, Lord, not in stuff.

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Not in the stuff at the mall, not at the stuff online, but in you, Lord.

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And help us to celebrate others and honor our path that we're on, and we

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ask this in confidence in Jesus' name.

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Amen.

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Listen, freedom comes when you stop keeping up with others.

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That's when you will truly find freedom and live fully in God's

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unique design for your life.

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So filter that comparison, affirm others, and focus on your purpose.

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I'm gonna ask you to do me a favor right now.

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If this show, or if this episode has impacted your life, I want

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you to share it with somebody.

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Just send them a text, send them an email and say, Hey, check this out.

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Go to financially confident christian.com.

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Tell 'em about what this show has meant to you.

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And while you're there, if you wanna get a copy of my book, I'm gonna

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give it to you absolutely free.

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It's called Mastering Your Finances.

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You get to that by going to financially confident christian.com/master.

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It's a short book, but let me just tell you right now, it is hugely impactful.

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Now, tomorrow we're gonna change this subject a little bit and we're

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gonna talk about this question.

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How do I define what enough really is?

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I don't want you to miss that show because we're really gonna talk about

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how do I define what enough really is?

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Now let's all go out there and be financially confident.

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Christians, you can do this.

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I believe in you.

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I, I believe in you a hundred percent.

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Believe in yourself.

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Stay financially savvy.

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God bless you, and you have a great day today.