Why Do My Kids’ Activities Cost So Much and Stress Me Out?

Speaker A00:00:00

Do you ever feel like every time you turn around the kids are asking to join something new? Hey, if you're like me when our kids are younger, soccer in the fall, piano lessons on Thursdays. Hey. Even robotics club after school. Hey.And if you're like most parents, your heart says yes. When you take a minute and think about it, your budget says, hold on a second, let me ask you this.If you could still give them the opportunities to grow and learn without draining your wallet or more importantly, without stressing yourself out, let's talk on today's show about how to make that happen.This is Financially Confident Christian, your daily dose of gospel, grounded insight and faith driven tips to help you break the cycle of financial shame with confidence. Hey there. Welcome back to Financially Confident Christian. I'm Ralph and I'm so happy you chose to give me just a little bit of your time.This is the show where we help you become a more financially confident Christian. And we're continuing in our series breaking our Financial chain series.Now if you missed yesterday's show, we talked about how easy it is to fall back in debt. Once you pay it off, you've gained that freedom and you're like Ralph, here I go again.So if you missed yesterday's show, I'm going to encourage you to check it out. You can find all of our shows at financiallyconfidentchristian.com well, yesterday we talked about how to break that cycle and break it for good.So I'm going to encourage you to go check it out. But today we're going to get back into the real world a little bit. We're going to talk about true budget pressure.I'm talking today about those kids activities. I could just picture you right now. The kids just got home from school and they've got a laundry list, list of fees and things that they want to do.So today I really want to address this. I want to talk about the cost of kids activities because hey, they're, they're not cheap.But I want to help you stop from wrecking your finances and breaking your budget when doing it. And you've probably lived this, you're probably living it right now.You got one child who wants to play a sport, another, hey, listen, I came home, my mom, I mentioned this on the show a few weeks ago, wanted to play the tuba. So maybe you got one child that wants to join in music lessons and then there's that school club, hey mom, everybody's joining us. I gotta join.And if you're not careful, you see those registration fees, maybe there's uniforms, equipment. Hey, listen, travel. Let me tell you right now, I've got a few clients that tell me their kids do travel, sports.I am amazed at how much money they spend on this. And it all adds up really quickly.And listen, I know as a parent you want to support their passions, and it's hard not to feel like money is pouring out from all things. I did a show the other day about a purse with holes in it. When it comes to extracurricular activities.Many parents have said to me, ralph, I feel like my wallet's got holes in it. It's constantly going for these kids activities. And sometimes it feels like that money is going out faster than you can bring it in.So I feel you on that today. But here's the thing. Supporting our kids in doing things is a good thing. But here's the thing. I want to really encourage you today.You need to create wise boundaries. Speaking of boundaries, let's jump right into the word of God. Let's go right to the book of Proverbs, chapter, chapter 4, verse 7.It says, this wisdom is supreme. Therefore get wisdom, though it cost all you have. Get understanding. I think that's a pretty powerful verse, don't you think? See, wisdom means this.Wisdom means when your kid comes home and says, mom, I want to play soccer. I want to be in that robotics club. I want to play an instrument. Wisdom means asking, does this fit into our family's values?See, that's the first step. You've got to say, and listen, this is where the tough love comes in. Sometimes.Sometimes you got to say to your children, no, we can't do that right now. It doesn't fit with our values. It's not how we see the world. I think so many times, and this is a Ralph pet peeve.I think parents are driving themselves crazy running this one here, running this one there. Plus, it's too much on the kids. There's societal pressure in the kids. I get it. They want to do all these things.But ask yourself this, does it meet with our values? Maybe it's a perfectly fine activity, but. But you've just made a family decision. One thing at a time.Once you get past that, then ask yourself this, does it fit into our budget? Because that's the key to it. And we can go back and look at the book of Philippians, chapter 4, verses 11 to 13.It reminds us to learn contentment in every situation. So I'm encourage you read. I'm not going to share that episode today on the show, but sometimes Contentment means saying no to something good.As a parent, you're going to learn this. Maybe you're a new parent and you. And maybe you're an OG like me.You're going to learn sometimes you have to say no to things that are good so that we can say yes to something's better. And when we apply that to our kids school activities, we're not holding them back. So many parents feel guilty about that.So many parents have said to me, ralph, I just want my kids to be able to do all the things that maybe you couldn't afford to do. But remember, we're not holding them back. What we're really doing is we're teaching them a very valuable lesson.We're teaching them discernment and, and listen, here's a bigger lesson. So many parents don't get this. When you say no to your children, you're modeling why stewardship. And you're helping them grow with gratitude.Maybe you're just saying to them, look, you can only pick one thing. So here's one clear step that you can do to make that extracurricular activity plan for your family. And this is what it comes down to.It comes down to planning. You need to sit down as a family.Maybe you and your husband, maybe you're a single mom like my mother was for us, but sit down and decide ahead of time how many activities each child can do, and then set a budget for each of these and then commit to finding creative ways to keep the cost. And there's a lot of ways to do that, you know, with instruments. Maybe you can buy them at the secondhand store.Maybe you can buy them at a pawn shop. Yes, it's okay to buy instruments at a pawn shop.Or maybe you just say, look, we're going to pick one thing in the fall and then another end of the spring. So here's your homework for day. Your one action step for today. Start by listing all the options. Sit down with your kids and write them all down.What I call green light thinking. Just put it all on the table.Hey, write down every single activity that you might think they're interested in, because this is going to help the kids feel engaged in the process. They're going to feel empowered in the process. Write it all down. And once you do that as a family, start writing down what the costs are.Talk about the cost of registration, talk about the cost of equipment, the travel costs, and add it all up. And then really take a hard look at your priorities.And as a family, maybe you choose one or two of these that matter the most this season, say to your children, look, we can only afford this. It's your turn. You pick which one works for you. And then once you've decided on that, look for ways to cut the cost.Maybe you buy second hand gear, maybe you go to the secondhand shop, maybe asking your parents group, does anybody have that trumpet that's sitting on the shelf that little Johnny doesn't play anymore? Hey, a lot of people overthink this one. There's a bunch of scholarships out there.Maybe set up some carpooling arrangements so you can take the burden off all the other pants so they don't feel like they're traveling. I like so many parents. To me they seem like Ubers these days. They're running kids everywhere. Or here's another one, little pro tip.Ask about volunteer opportunities to help reduce those fees. And then I want to encourage you to put this in your intentional spending plan.Put this in your budget as extracurriculars so that you know what, where the money's going to be and you avoid any surprises. How about we pray together now? Lord, we just thank you for giving our children unique gifts and passions, Lord.We are so happy that they have interest in this, Lord. And we just ask you to help us as parents to guide them wisely, Lord. Help them choose activities that honor you and activities that fit the season.We're in our lives, Lord, and we ask you would give us creativity to stretch our resources, stretch those budgets, those intentional spending plans. And Lord, we just ask you for peace. No, we don't have to say yes to everything. Give us strength to do that.And we also ask that you would help us to give them a good life, Lord, you know that's what we want for our children. So help us to be wise stewards in doing that. And we ask this in confidence in Jesus name, Amen.Listen, being intentional with activities doesn't just save you money. That's one of the better things to it, but it also protects your peace.And, and bigger than all of those things, it teaches your kids about stewardship and hey, we need to do more of that. We need to show our kids that there are limited resources, at least when it comes to money. We talk about that on another show.Let me ask you a question. Is this show helping you? Is this show helping you break that cycle of financial shame and do it with confidence?If it is, I'm going to encourage you to do something for me.Can you share this so with another parent, somebody else who's in the trenches with you is dealing with all these things, coming at it from all sides. A lot of people out there need the wisdom that we're sharing on the show every day.And you can share this show with them by just pointing them to our website. Just send them to financiallyconfidentchristian.com send them a text, send them an email. Hey, share it with your parents group.Say, I listen to this guy Ralph. He's got some great ideas for how to pay for extracurricular activities. And while you're there, I want to encourage you.And you can send this to all your friends as well. They can all get a free copy of my book. It's called Becoming a Financially Confident Christian. This is a passion project of mine.I just wrapped it up maybe a month or two ago. And I want to give you a copy of that book absolutely free, no questions asked. Just go to my website.That's financiallyconfidentchristian.com/becoming. And listen, I want to encourage you. Join me tomorrow because we're tackling something that might be the root of so much of this pressure.And listen, it's going to be a. It's going to be a barn burner tomorrow. We're talking about that constant urge to keep up with what other families are doing.So many people are stuck in the mire of trying to keep up with the Joneses. As they say, what's the neighbors doing? And the kids sense this.So join me on tomorrow's show because I'm going to break it down and give you some ways to finally break out of that cycle. We're talking about breaking that comparison trap and we're going to talk about finding contentment in the life that God is giving you.So many of us need to understand contentment, and that's what I cover on tomorrow's show. Now listen, I know you can do this. I believe in you, believe in yourself. Go live like financially confident Christians. God bless you.And you have a great day today.