LIVE SHOW REPLAY: What's the Most Powerful Financial Move When You Don't Know Where to Begin?
Feeling overwhelmed by finances and not even sure where to start? In this episode of Ask Ralph, Ralph and Craig revisit foundational faith-based steps from the series, The Joy of Living Below Your Means. They begin by tackling the most common question from listeners: “What’s my first move?” Whether you’re burdened by debt, confused by budgets, or frozen by shame, they share deeply practical and spiritually grounding answers. If you’ve ever asked yourself what the most powerful financial move is when you’re feeling stuck, this episode is your answer.
Check out the full podcast episode here
You’ll learn why specific daily prayer is a transformative first step, how to release shame through surrender, and why partnership with God is essential for peace and progress. The conversation highlights how small, consistent steps rooted in faith—like defining “enough,” practicing gratitude, and tracking your spending—can lead to breakthrough. You don’t need to fix everything today. You just need to start—with humility, honesty, and one faithful step forward.
Chapters:
- 00:15 - Finding Joy and Freedom in Finances
- 02:04 - Transition to Financially Confident Christian
- 19:21 - Understanding Value Conflict in Relationships
- 40:41 - Finding Financial Awareness: Tips and Strategies
- 45:41 - Understanding Budgeting and Financial Planning
Takeaways:
- Managing money can feel super overwhelming, but it doesn't have to be a heavy burden we carry alone.
- Start with simple steps like inviting God into your financial conversations through prayer each day.
- Practice gratitude even in tough times – it can shift your perspective and help build contentment.
- Track your spending without judgment; awareness is key to finding financial leaks and areas to improve.
- Creating a budget doesn't have to be scary; just plan for your lowest expected income and prioritize spending.
- Financial confidence is a journey, so take it one step at a time – progress, not perfection, is the goal.
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To schedule a consultation with Ralph's team, contact him at 302-659-6560 or go to www.askralph.com for more information!
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00:00 - None
00:15 - Finding Joy and Freedom in Finances
02:04 - Transition to Financially Confident Christian
19:21 - Understanding Value Conflict in Relationships
40:41 - Finding Financial Awareness: Tips and Strategies
45:41 - Understanding Budgeting and Financial Planning
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Hey, is managing your money feeling heavy?
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Do you feel like you need to get a handle on it, but you're honestly
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not even sure where to begin?
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Maybe you feel like you're always chasing more, but never feel like you have
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enough, or perhaps you wonder where all your harder money disappears each month.
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Well stick around because today my friend Craig and I are gonna recap a
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week's worth of simple faith-based steps that you can take starting today to
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find joy and freedom in your finances.
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Plus, we're gonna tackle some great listener questions along the way.
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Don't miss it.
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It's gonna be a great show today.
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Welcome back to the special edition, of the Asked Ralph podcast.
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I'm Ralph, and today's going to be a bit different.
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I'm thrilled to have my good friend Craig here joining me again today.
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So Craig, again, thanks for being here.
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It's great to have you.
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And this past week we launched a brand new series called The
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Joy of Living Below Your Means.
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We covered a great.
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Lot deal ground here, tackling some foundational step towards
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financial freedom and growing in our faith along the way.
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So today Craig and I are gonna go to recap the key takeaways from each episode.
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We're gonna talk about the main challenge I discussed, and most
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importantly, I'm gonna give you some single steps and some action items
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that you as listeners can take.
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Each day we're gonna be answering some questions along
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the way related to each topic.
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And just as a reminder, the goal here isn't just information,
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it's really transformation.
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One step at a time.
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'cause we wanna help you.
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Listeners, break that cycle of financial shame and step into confidence
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moving towards the goal of becoming a financially confident Christian.
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So let me encourage you, if you missed any of these episodes, you
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can check them out right on our website that's at ask ralph.com.
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So let's move into last Monday's episode.
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That was episode number one 11 and that was called Feeling Lost Starred Here.
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So Craig, we kicked off this week addressing that feeling many people
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have just feeling completely.
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Overwhelmed and lost when it comes to money knowing they should do
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something, but being paralyzed, unsure about where to even begin.
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And we had a listener question come in about this very thing.
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So let's jump into listener question number one.
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And this one comes to us to, from Sarah in Ohio.
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And that's what Sarah said.
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She said, Ralph, I wanna pray about my finances, but I feel
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awkward or unsure what to say.
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doesn't feel as spiritual as other prayers.
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How do I start?
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Well, Sarah, that's a such an honest question, and it ties right into what I
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talked about on the show this past Monday.
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The core idea of Monday's episode was that very first step before anything
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else, and that's intentionally inviting God into your financial
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picture through specific prayer.
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So Craig, what would you say to Sarah?
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How can, how can we make praying about money feel more natural and less awkward?
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Well, I'm trying to think back to all
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my Sunday school days, but I don't remember God
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ever saying, or the Bible ever saying that you only should pray about spiritual
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matters.
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Did
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I miss something?
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Am
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I
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not remembering or?
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or, no, I think you're a hundred percent right.
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I, I don't think it's unfair.
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I think there's just this, this, this belief out there that, you know, there's
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this, and we talk about this on the show all the time, that separation between
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money and, you know, what's going on with people's, uh, you know, faith.
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But I, I think it's, you don't have to separate the two.
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No, not at All
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I mean,
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it, you know, God God wants us to live
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fruitful lives and you know, if we need help doing
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that.
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And
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You
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pray,
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about it when you need help, and it shouldn't be the only
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time you pray, but you certainly can pray when you need help and I don't
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know why financial matters would be
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any different.
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Yeah, I agree with you, Craig, and in my opinion, it's all about
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honesty and partnership and, and it doesn't need to be a formal script.
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I think so many people get hung up on prayers being this formal script
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that they've gotta put, but, you know, in front of the Almighty and
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say, well, you know, I've gotta do this and I've gotta do that.
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And so Craig, you know.
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One of the things that we talk about on the show all the time and, and it ties
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right into that paralysis, we mentioned that feeling of being financially adrift.
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Does that resonate with you?
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Have you, have you seen that kind of overwhelm and, and, and have you dealt
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with people that, some people that you know, have dealt with that very situation?
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Yeah, I mean, I did in my younger days, You
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know, when you just don't have any money
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and you
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don't have that much money coming in and you see the
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expenses looming
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and
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You know, it's a lot.
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Uh,
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but you have to take the
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first step.
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you know, we've talked about this over and over and over again because it's, it's
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critical.
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Is doing something
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is a start.
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And if you look at only the, the, the giant hole that
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you're
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in,
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it is
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is overwhelming.
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but getting anywhere is just a series of
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steps.
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And so you might not be able to run a marathon right
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now, but you can take one
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step.
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then you can take another
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step and
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another step and another step I.
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And that's precisely what I was talking about when I said start with prayer,
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because I think it's, it's real easy to try to muscle through that alone.
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And it feels so heavy when you do that.
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And that's why I mentioned in Monday's episode, the
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action step was pretty simple.
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And that's just fine, five or 10 minutes each day to just talk to God
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specifically about your finances.
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It's okay to ask him, Hey, God, I, I, I'm struggling with this.
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I'm, I'm having a hard time with this.
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You know, one of the things I, big takeaways I like to have here on the show
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is that you don't have to do this all by
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yourself.
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And that seems very basic, but you know, why do you think that daily prayer,
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Craig, is hard for people when, when they're stressed about their money?
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What do you, what do you think is their biggest obstacle
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in
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that?
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Uh, you know, I think there's a fair amount of shame or or maybe
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denial.
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You know, if you, if you lay it out to
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God, now
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you've
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laid it out, you know, you've admitted that you're in a situation,
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uh, which may or may not have been your fault.
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I mean, often it is our own fault, at
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least to some degree.
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Um,
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so
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there's a little bit of denial I think,
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at play, but then there's some shame.
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You know, I feel like I made some bad decisions and, you know, maybe
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you did, but you can't do anything
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about
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those you know, once they're, those are made, they're over.
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You gotta move on from
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there.
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But I think if we can get over those
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two hurdles, that little bit of self denial
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and then that little bit of shame, I mean, sha shame is totally pointless.
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I think we mentioned this last
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week, Unless it leads to
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change
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and
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so just fight through that.
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rip.
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We talked about this last week.
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I remember rip the bandaid
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off and, and, I think that's part of the problem is it
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it's scary before you rip that
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bandaid off,
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you know it's gonna hurt a little bit.
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Oh, absolutely.
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and, I, and I have scripture here, James one five that says, ask for wisdom.
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You know, if you struggle in something, ask for wisdom
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because it gives it generously.
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And in my opinion, Craig, the really, the answer is the, this act
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of surrender in many ways is the antidote to that feeling of being
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lost.
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You know?
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And have you seen, not not just in, in, in financial affairs, when you say
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you did Sunday school and all that sort of thing, Craig, have you ever seen
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where prayer made a tangible difference
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when somebody was facing an overwhelming situation, whether
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it be financial or otherwise?
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Yeah,
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And I this, this will
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get a little poignant, but uh, when my first wife was
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suffering from cancer,
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she would
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engage in long, often contentious prayer sessions, you
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know, getting angry at
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God.
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And I think that helped her get through, you know, got
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rid of some of those emotions.
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It helped her kind of accept the situation the way it was.
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And, uh, you know, that's a tough thing to go
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through and it sounds weird to say you're.
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Angry and yelling at God.
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But, uh, I think it really did help,
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I, I'm convinced that it did.
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Who knows?
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but
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I'm pretty sure it did.
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And I think what you're alluding to is that relationship thing.
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It's okay to God is your partner.
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It's okay to say to God, Hey, you know what?
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I don't understand
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this.
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You know, why are you putting me through this?
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And, and I can't even fathom what that must have been like for you, Craig, as
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the husband in that, in that situation, that has been really tough, but.
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You know, it sounds like your, your wife reached out to God in a way that, and
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like a lot of people from the outside would've said, well, that was really
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contentious, but guess what?
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That's what she needed.
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And you know, this is, seems petty, but if you're feeling that same thing with
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your finances and reach out to God and say, listen, God, I don't understand
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why you're putting me through this.
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You know, why did I just lose my job?
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Why am I getting ready to lose my home?
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I mean, and like you said, Craig, we've said this a million
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times.
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Sometimes it's stuff beyond your control.
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And
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sometimes it's not right.
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Sometimes it's stuff that is well within your control and we
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have to really understand the
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difference.
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But I think we kind of covered that question.
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Let's move on to our second segment, and that is episode one 12 where I
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talked about what if you already have enough, So we tackled that feeling of
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always chasing that next thing, never feeling like you've truly arrived.
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That's the word I use when I talked about it financially.
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That treadmill of comparison.
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And Discontentment.
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Or dis Discontentment, excuse me.
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And we got a related question from Mark in Texas.
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So let me talk about Mark's question here, and it says Ralph.
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and, and Craig, you're gonna remember this, it kind of sounds a little
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bit like the, the situation we had on last week show, but a little bit
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different.
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So anyway, uh, mark said in this from Texas, he said, Ralph, my
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spouse and I have different ideas of what enough is and what we should
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spend money on, It causes tension.
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How do we get on the same page biblically?
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Well, mark, I'll tell you right now, that's a challenging question and it
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hits right at the heart of today's, uh, of Tuesday's topic, I should say.
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The solution we discussed was intentionally.
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and Prayerfully defining what enough looks like for you or as a couple?
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I think it's even more important when you're a couple, you know, based
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on God's values, not the worlds,
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And Craig navigating different financial views as a couple, you know, how can
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Mark and his wife start that conversation to really define enough together?
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What do you think the keys are to
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that?
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Yeah, there's a lot to unpack here.
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Um,
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enough
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is an interesting
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word.
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So
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if, if we really get down to
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it, it enough is just can you
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survive?
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But that's what virtually nobody means
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by
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enough.
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And
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so
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they, they really do
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need to sit down and, and maybe define in number of enoughs,
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uh,
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which
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sounds kind of weird,
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but there's an enough.
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That means
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we can
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survive.
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There's an enough that
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means that we have some financial security.
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You know, we're, not, we're not gonna stress
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and we've got an emergency fund, that
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sort of thing.
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There isn't enough
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to reach some financial goal.
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We want to have money put away for the kids' college or whatever it might be,
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but I think that might be a way to look
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at it to just kind of layer a number of enoughs, and this is the big
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one,
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really
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listen to what your partner is saying.
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and, and, I know
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It.
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it's so easy when you get in these kind of debates,
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whether it's in a marriage relationship or two
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friends,
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you've got part of one ear listening or part of your brain
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listening to what the other person is saying.
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Virtually zero of your brain
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processing,
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trying to understand.
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Why they're saying,
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what they're saying, and then this big chunk of your brain
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thinking about how you're gonna counter whatever it is they're
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saying and make
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your
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next point.
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And so it it.
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I think
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the big trick here
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is to really spend a lot of time not just listening, but trying to understand
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where the other person is coming from.
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And I, I'm assuming that the other person is
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coming from a, a, a positive place where they're not
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just ridiculous or evil or anything
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like that.
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Uh, but we have very different
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views of what
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enough is, and you don't get anywhere
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until you, you take that attitude of, help me
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understand, help me understand why you
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think, whatever.
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It's so, I don't know, does that
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No, and
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I agree with you and I think, you know, on the notes I put here is communication
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and communication is all the things you mentioned.
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It's not just to speak, it's not just to be heard, but it's to better understand.
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And I think you said something very key to that.
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And you have to have shared
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values.
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You know, if you don't have shared values, it's gonna be very hard to figure
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out what enough looks like for you in a, in a marriage relationship or, you
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know, even in a friendship relationship because, you know, culture is constantly
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screaming more and more and more.
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You need, you need more.
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That, that pressure to keep up seems stronger than
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ever.
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and that's where you see discontent showing up often for people, you
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know, especially for Christians who are trying to live differently.
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And Craig, that's one of the things that I kind of wanted to park here for
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a minute and talk about that because, you know, we're bombarded on a daily
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basis of you need more, you need to have this, you need to have that.
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And I
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think that, you know, that's what I talked about on my show, that on
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Tuesday, that that episode we're talking about now is like, you
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gotta define what your enough looks
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like.
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And, and like you said, it's not just a survival thing, but enough for you
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has, you've gotta kind of lay it out and say, you know, what does it look like?
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And that's what I talked about on the show.
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I said, you know, the action step for that was take 15 or 20 minutes
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and just jot down thoughts on what financial peace looks like for you.
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What, what are your needs?
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What are your wants?
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And, and a level that allows comfort and generosity, because you've gotta
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define your own finishing line.
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And Craig, one of the things I wanna say to you is, I, you know, that sounds
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great, but how does someone practically start figuring that out personally,
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beyond just covering their bills?
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Like, how do you get to that point?
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That's a really tough
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thing.
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Well, you know, and this is kind of, uh, off the top of my head,
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but I think you can kind of come at
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it from two different
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angles.
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So as, as you were
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talking,
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uh,
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I was trying to understand where, what it was you were saying, where you were coming
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from,
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Uh,
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and I think.
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I
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I concluded that sometimes enough is, is way, way beyond what enough
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really
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is.
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I, mean, I, I, I'm, I'm just as bad
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as, as most people on this, I, I have my
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retirement
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number.
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Well, I
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I was lucky enough to
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hit that retirement
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number and I was like, well, okay, maybe I need a bigger number.
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And
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so now there's a bigger number and what'll happen when I hit that one?
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I'm sure you have
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clients like
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this.
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All right, I
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hit that number.
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Well, now I need a bigger
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number and, and I think we can start to peel
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back.
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Maybe, you know, go, go to that maximum.
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If you had all the
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money that you could ever want,
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what would
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would that be?
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What would that look like?
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And then start coming back a
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step.
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Okay.
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Let's say that's $2 million for
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retirement.
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Alright, well what if I only
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had a
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million
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and a
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half?
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What would that look like?
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And what would it look like if I only had a million?
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And you may settle at a point where you're in the right spot
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or you start out in the other
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direction.
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These are the essentials.
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I mean, if I'm gonna survive, I need
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this much.
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And then.
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what if I push it a little bit further?
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What would
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that mean to my life?
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And I think you can find
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a mean, you know, Aristotle talks about the golden
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mean
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between the vice of deficiency and the vice of excess.
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And I think we need to kind of find that
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mean, Which is different for
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everybody.
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And I, I don't know if that made any sense at all, 'cause that was
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kind of
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off the cuff, but
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uh, no, I think that makes perfect sense.
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And I think what I hear you saying is it's not so much a what if, but it's an even if
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discussion, even if
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I only get to this amount or even if I only have these things.
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Because what you're really getting to is what it talks about in one Timothy
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six, six of being, you know, godliness with contentment is great gain.
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And I think that's what we're really talking about.
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And then when I, when I had that whole discussion about, even
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enough, I was really talking about
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contentment because it's really easy to not be content in the society we live in
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today.
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And that's what I see so many people going into debt over, 'cause they're
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trying to keep up with the neighbors.
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And, and I see this struggle with couples so many times because, you
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know, they, they, they can't get on the same page financially because
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a lot of times they don't even understand what enough is individually.
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Much less trying to do that in a marital relationship.
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So that was, excuse me.
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That was really my goal for that was really to talk about how do you
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formulate what your enough looks like?
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Because the truth
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is the culture is going to always tell you to more, more
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like you said with retirement.
Speaker:
Yeah.
Speaker:
You're, you're in a place where you're, you got your what if figured
Speaker:
out, well, what if I had this much?
Speaker:
Could I pay my bills?
Speaker:
Could I live the retirement that I have?
Speaker:
But then you had to start working backward from that and say, well, even
Speaker:
if.
Speaker:
This, even
Speaker:
if that is that, is that what kind of where you were going with that, Craig?
Speaker:
Yeah.
Speaker:
Yeah, Or,
Speaker:
Or, or, you know, like I
Speaker:
said, coming from the other direction where you start
Speaker:
off with the bare minimum and
Speaker:
then say, what would it look like if I had a little bit more, a little bit more?
Speaker:
And then what is it gonna
Speaker:
take to get to that little
Speaker:
bit more?
Speaker:
That, that's the piece that people often forget about in these
Speaker:
conversations is getting that extra money means
Speaker:
sacrificing
Speaker:
something.
Speaker:
You know, it could be your time, it could be your vacations,
Speaker:
it could be your new car.
Speaker:
But if you're going to using retirement
Speaker:
here, if you're gonna hit those further out goals,
Speaker:
you're gonna have to sacrifice something
Speaker:
right now and on an ongoing basis.
Speaker:
And sometimes that's not worth
Speaker:
it.
Speaker:
Is, you know, like, should I work
Speaker:
another couple of
Speaker:
years and Well, maybe that's not worth
Speaker:
it.
Speaker:
Yeah.
Speaker:
Can I go back to something you said earlier 'cause I, I don't
Speaker:
wanna
Speaker:
lose this.
Speaker:
you mentioned you mentioned getting on the same page
Speaker:
about values.
Speaker:
There's actually a pretty substantial body of empirical research that
Speaker:
talks about, uh, conflict in
Speaker:
teams.
Speaker:
And there are different kinds and, and most kinds will either
Speaker:
make things a little bit more efficient or they'll make things
Speaker:
more
Speaker:
effective.
Speaker:
depending upon how much conflict there is.
Speaker:
'cause conflict is not a bad
Speaker:
thing.
Speaker:
That's how you figure stuff out a lot of times
Speaker:
is through
Speaker:
conflict
Speaker:
The one type of conflict that
Speaker:
never has any beneficial outcome at all is value
Speaker:
conflict.
Speaker:
So if you can't get on the same
Speaker:
page about what the values
Speaker:
are,
Speaker:
it's just a mess It doesn't get anywhere.
Speaker:
So that should really be job number one.
Speaker:
And that's.
Speaker:
brings back the idea of listening to
Speaker:
understand, If you don't really listen to try to
Speaker:
understand, you're just gonna keep.
Speaker:
Talking past each other regarding the values, and you're not
Speaker:
gonna really make progress.
Speaker:
No, I think that's very well said, Craig.
Speaker:
I mean, that's absolutely the truth.
Speaker:
If you're not on the same page as values, I mean, there's no debate that's gonna fix
Speaker:
that.
Speaker:
No,
Speaker:
No,
Speaker:
no.
Speaker:
You've gotta,
Speaker:
you've gotta work
Speaker:
that
Speaker:
out.
Speaker:
And, and and it's a, a, matter of compromise.
Speaker:
You know, you can't dig your heels
Speaker:
in unless it's something that you just absolutely cannot give
Speaker:
up.
Speaker:
Um, they call that contending.
Speaker:
where you dig your heels in and just.
Speaker:
You
Speaker:
don't move.
Speaker:
But that's usually not
Speaker:
called
Speaker:
for.
Speaker:
If you're gonna contend, if you're gonna dig in your
Speaker:
heels, you better be really, really, really sure
Speaker:
You're right.
Speaker:
And I don't know about you,
Speaker:
but the times I've been right and the times I've been
Speaker:
wrong,
Speaker:
I, I wish they were just
Speaker:
equal.
Speaker:
Uh, I'm sure there are a lot more in the times I've been
Speaker:
wrong Category.
Speaker:
And so I've been, I've been really sure I was right.
Speaker:
and Turned
Speaker:
out I was wrong, so
Speaker:
don't dig your heels in too quickly.
Speaker:
Absolutely
Speaker:
true.
Speaker:
Well, let's move on to our Wednesday episode, which was episode one 13 where I
Speaker:
addressed that feeling of discouragement.
Speaker:
And focusing on what we don't have, the bills, the lack of those things.
Speaker:
And the question that we got next was a question from Anna in Florida.
Speaker:
And I think this is something that many people feel, and this is what she said.
Speaker:
She says, Ralph, it's uh, it's really hard to feel grateful when
Speaker:
I'm facing Huge debts and feeling like I'm drowning financially.
Speaker:
How can I practice gratitude authentically in these real tough times?
Speaker:
And Craig, what I was talking about there was that, you know, I think one
Speaker:
of the things we have to strive for is actually finding true, true gratitude.
Speaker:
I think that's one of the ways you can get, you know, to a point of
Speaker:
starting to develop some, you know, some resistance to feeling like
Speaker:
you're in that financial shame.
Speaker:
So Anna, your honesty is appreciated it and it is
Speaker:
hard.
Speaker:
You know, Wednesday's core idea was that the antidote to this discouragement,
Speaker:
that that constantly feeling like you, you're not getting anywhere, is
Speaker:
intentionally practicing daily gratitude.
Speaker:
And even when it's difficult, and Anna, you allude to that, you know,
Speaker:
how can you be, how can you be grateful when you feel like you've
Speaker:
got these huge burdens on top of you?
Speaker:
So Craig, you know, how do we find authentic gratitude as Anna asked
Speaker:
when that financial storm is raging?
Speaker:
You know, what can we focus on?
Speaker:
All
Speaker:
All
Speaker:
right.
Speaker:
Are you ready.
Speaker:
for this,
Speaker:
I'm ready.
Speaker:
you, you you may, you may hit the mute
Speaker:
button here.
Speaker:
Uh, I'm gonna lay some Baptist Buddhist
Speaker:
stoicism on
Speaker:
that
Speaker:
Now that is a combination I was not expecting my friend.
Speaker:
Yep, yep, yep.
Speaker:
That is
Speaker:
how I describe
Speaker:
myself.
Speaker:
A
Speaker:
Baptist boots, Buddhist,
Speaker:
I
Speaker:
like
Speaker:
so So, we, we've, we talk a lot about the relationship
Speaker:
with
Speaker:
God,
Speaker:
right?
Speaker:
And that we need to show gratitude.
Speaker:
uh, towards God.
Speaker:
And so that's the Baptist piece.
Speaker:
You, you have to acknowledge that we've said this
Speaker:
before, if, if you're able to listen to a podcast, you've got a lot to be grateful
Speaker:
for.
Speaker:
All
Speaker:
right?
Speaker:
So, and and we need to be grateful to God who gave the, who gave us that, that gift.
Speaker:
Um,
Speaker:
I'm
Speaker:
I'm gonna take a little tangent
Speaker:
here.
Speaker:
Uh,
Speaker:
it, I've been to
Speaker:
India.
Speaker:
I don't know if anybody the audience has ever been to
Speaker:
India.
Speaker:
I didn't understand
Speaker:
poor until I was in
Speaker:
India.
Speaker:
I,
Speaker:
I,
Speaker:
I,
Speaker:
I'm sure there
Speaker:
are
Speaker:
poor
Speaker:
people in the US and I've lived in a lot of big cities
Speaker:
that had a lot of,
Speaker:
uh, uh, people who were unhoused and had Uh, difficulties
Speaker:
compared to
Speaker:
to those people in India.
Speaker:
These people are
Speaker:
not poor.
Speaker:
And so what we just lost an audience
Speaker:
member,
Speaker:
so I'm sure, I guess
Speaker:
made somebody mad.
Speaker:
Um,
Speaker:
but I, I think we need to
Speaker:
acknowledge
Speaker:
that.
Speaker:
So, so that's, that's,
Speaker:
that's the Baptist piece.
Speaker:
We need to be grateful for God for
Speaker:
what we've, the gifts that we've been given the Buddhist piece
Speaker:
piece, is that we have to be
Speaker:
accepting, you know, the situation that you're
Speaker:
in is the situation you're
Speaker:
in.
Speaker:
For whatever
Speaker:
reason, you're not gonna get anywhere in terms of your inner peace until you accept
Speaker:
that.
Speaker:
You
Speaker:
You just have to accept it.
Speaker:
The situation is what the
Speaker:
situation is, regardless of how you got
Speaker:
there.
Speaker:
You
Speaker:
You just have to deal with
Speaker:
it.
Speaker:
And then the stoics have
Speaker:
a saying that says, never enter a race in which you're not
Speaker:
assured.
Speaker:
Victory,
Speaker:
which which
Speaker:
took
Speaker:
me a while to figure
Speaker:
out.
Speaker:
What they're basically saying is, you've got to define the race in the right way.
Speaker:
And if you define the race as I want all my debts to be gone
Speaker:
tomorrow, You're not gonna win that
Speaker:
race.
Speaker:
If you're gonna define the race as being, you know
Speaker:
what, I'm gonna start a spending
Speaker:
diary, you can win that
Speaker:
race.
Speaker:
then you enter another
Speaker:
race, You know, I can start a budget, a
Speaker:
simple budget, and then you win that
Speaker:
race and you win that race and you win that race and you start
Speaker:
swimming and now you're not
Speaker:
drowning anymore.
Speaker:
And that makes it a
Speaker:
lot,
Speaker:
uh,
Speaker:
easier to show some gratitude because now.
Speaker:
You've got gratitude, not just for what you were given
Speaker:
but for the progress you're
Speaker:
making.
Speaker:
And all those little gratitude builds on
Speaker:
itself that.
Speaker:
You kind of alluded
Speaker:
to
Speaker:
that.
Speaker:
And so all those little wins they build on themselves.
Speaker:
They start to build your confidence.
Speaker:
They start to
Speaker:
to
Speaker:
make it seem like there's a way out, and it also builds your
Speaker:
gratitude.
Speaker:
So I don't know, That's the Baptist, Buddhist, stoic
Speaker:
take on this situation.
Speaker:
But I think that's key.
Speaker:
I, I, think you nailed it and I think it builds on each other.
Speaker:
I think that's the key to the whole thing, but also what I hear you
Speaker:
saying in that you have to frame it
Speaker:
correctly.
Speaker:
and that's what I'm talking about is that defining enough, that
Speaker:
kind of, the two things go hand in
Speaker:
hand.
Speaker:
Because if if, you're setting yourself up for failure, yes, you're gonna fail.
Speaker:
I mean, that's just a simple thing.
Speaker:
And, and I think so many times people get lost in the material
Speaker:
part of this, but there are so many non-material blessings that we have and I
Speaker:
think it's so important to remember that.
Speaker:
And, and I think, you know, as Christians we're called to give
Speaker:
thanks in all circumstances
Speaker:
and see
Speaker:
that that focus on lack, as many people I hear talking about,
Speaker:
oh, I lack this and I lack that.
Speaker:
But that can be subtle, but it can be powerful at the same time.
Speaker:
And I've seen where that's, you know, that, that feeling of lack is, you
Speaker:
know, it's caused people to have great, uh, impact on their gratitude because
Speaker:
it, it all comes down to someone's outlook or even on their faith because
Speaker:
they just say, well, I'm lacking God.
Speaker:
Must not be, God must not love me.
Speaker:
God must not care about me.
Speaker:
And, and that is so hard to get past.
Speaker:
If you have that, that philosophy, you have that belief
Speaker:
structure.
Speaker:
Yeah, absolutely.
Speaker:
and
Speaker:
the, the number of
Speaker:
things that you're
Speaker:
lacking is.
Speaker:
infinite,
Speaker:
so
Speaker:
you're
Speaker:
just chasing something that you'll never.
Speaker:
achieve.
Speaker:
achieve.
Speaker:
You're
Speaker:
always gonna be
Speaker:
lacking
Speaker:
something.
Speaker:
I, I have a question for you,
Speaker:
Ralph.
Speaker:
Do Do, you remember how you felt when you got
Speaker:
your first car?
Speaker:
Oh, absolutely.
Speaker:
Sure.
Speaker:
What, what
Speaker:
was it?
Speaker:
I think
Speaker:
you've mentioned this before, but what was
Speaker:
Yeah, I was
Speaker:
like, oh, this is cool because I had, uh, freedom.
Speaker:
You know, that was one of the big things that came to me was
Speaker:
freedom.
Speaker:
Um,
Speaker:
uh, it was
Speaker:
excitement because I could go do things.
Speaker:
You know, but then there was also this level of responsibility then
Speaker:
because you're just like, I was driving something that could take someone's life.
Speaker:
And I know that sounds kind of harsh, but it's just
Speaker:
true.
Speaker:
Yeah.
Speaker:
So
Speaker:
let let,
Speaker:
let me ask this
Speaker:
a little bit different way.
Speaker:
So, So, think about how you felt when you got the
Speaker:
keys to that first car and it was your car.
Speaker:
Mm-hmm.
Speaker:
And
Speaker:
and you just bought a new
Speaker:
vehicle,
Speaker:
right?
Speaker:
I did.
Speaker:
Did you experience more joy with that first
Speaker:
car or with a new Hummer?
Speaker:
Oh, definitely.
Speaker:
With the first, I.
Speaker:
what, what,
Speaker:
what,
Speaker:
was your
Speaker:
first car?
Speaker:
The first car I had, I'll never forget it was, I was 16 years old.
Speaker:
My dad bought me a Chrysler Baron.
Speaker:
It was like a fancy K
Speaker:
car.
Speaker:
And, um, you know, it had like the fake leather top.
Speaker:
It was a a four cylinder.
Speaker:
So if it was.
Speaker:
Sitting at a stoplight.
Speaker:
I basically had to, I turned the air conditioning off because
Speaker:
there wasn't enough power for the thing to stay running.
Speaker:
I was sitting at the traffic It was great on gas though.
Speaker:
I mean, back in those days, I think gas
Speaker:
was like, I'm.
Speaker:
Like, I'm a hundred years old, but I think gas is about a dollar a gallon.
Speaker:
But, um, But, yeah, I remember it well.
Speaker:
So I, I'm not gonna
Speaker:
ask you
Speaker:
what you
Speaker:
paid for your new
Speaker:
Hummer, but I, I know what my, my, first car was a 1964 Mercury com, but I paid
Speaker:
$150 for, it bought it for my
Speaker:
brother.
Speaker:
My
Speaker:
latest, uh, vehicle
Speaker:
was a lot more than that.
Speaker:
We'll just leave
Speaker:
it at
Speaker:
that.
Speaker:
But I, I felt more
Speaker:
joy.
Speaker:
at
Speaker:
that $150 1964
Speaker:
Mercury
Speaker:
Comet than I did at the new Ram.
Speaker:
Now I love the new
Speaker:
truck,
Speaker:
but, but, there's no comparison and So
Speaker:
I'm a little sleep deprived.
Speaker:
So if this is making no
Speaker:
sense, please forgive me.
Speaker:
It's making perfect sense.
Speaker:
Greg.
Speaker:
Look maybe
Speaker:
we're
Speaker:
both
Speaker:
off.
Speaker:
I don't
Speaker:
know.
Speaker:
Uh, but, but think about it.
Speaker:
The, the joy was in what it gave you, it gave you freedom, it gave
Speaker:
you a sense of responsibility.
Speaker:
And at that point in our lives,
Speaker:
being given that responsibility was a huge compliment from our
Speaker:
parents, right?
Speaker:
So that meant a lot
Speaker:
for
Speaker:
a
Speaker:
crappy 16-year-old K
Speaker:
car or $150
Speaker:
comet
Speaker:
versus
Speaker:
the, you know, multi tens of thousands of dollars that we just paid for our new
Speaker:
vehicles.
Speaker:
the
Speaker:
The, joy was not attached to the price
Speaker:
tag tag of the vehicle.
Speaker:
the joy was attached to the joy that we
Speaker:
felt.
Speaker:
You
Speaker:
know,
Speaker:
that
Speaker:
that's all it really was.
Speaker:
You feel joy because you
Speaker:
feel Joy,
Speaker:
and, and we let ourselves feel that joy.
Speaker:
and I think that can
Speaker:
really
Speaker:
help
Speaker:
us get at this idea of
Speaker:
enough.
Speaker:
is this other thing that, that you're
Speaker:
lacking,
Speaker:
What's that really gonna do
Speaker:
for you
Speaker:
You,
Speaker:
Uh, you?
Speaker:
know, okay, you got a new pair of Shoes, great.
Speaker:
But I.
Speaker:
but
Speaker:
Does
Speaker:
that really bring you that kind of joy?
Speaker:
So I, don't know.
Speaker:
It might be a way to, go back to that reframing idea, just framing
Speaker:
how you're thinking about these things.
Speaker:
Absolutely.
Speaker:
And one of the action steps, I said with this whole idea of gratitude
Speaker:
was just every day list three to five things that you're grateful
Speaker:
for.
Speaker:
I think all of us can learn from that because like you said, taking that
Speaker:
trip to India, I bet when you got back.
Speaker:
Your whole idea of gratefulness was completely different.
Speaker:
I know we took a trip, my first trip overseas was, uh, dece,
Speaker:
not October of, not last year.
Speaker:
The prior year we went to Germany and I'd never been overseas
Speaker:
before.
Speaker:
And we went to a concentration camp in, uh, Dout.
Speaker:
And I remember Craig walking through the gate of that.
Speaker:
And you see this on television, you know, you can see the Holocaust,
Speaker:
but until you stand there.
Speaker:
Until
Speaker:
you see like what that really looks like.
Speaker:
mean, you have no concept of that and, and not that, not that I experienced
Speaker:
it, what people who went through that experience, but man, when you're there,
Speaker:
I remember
Speaker:
coming back and I had such a high level of gratitude for what I did have, you know,
Speaker:
I had the, and it is gonna sound kind of silly, but I had the ability to leave that
Speaker:
concentration camp.
Speaker:
I was able to walk out in the gate.
Speaker:
You know, and, and that's, that's what it's all about, is that, it's
Speaker:
that perspective, but then it's that, you know, finding gratitude, you
Speaker:
know, and, and then, but practicing
Speaker:
it
Speaker:
and, and, you gotta practice it even when things are
Speaker:
tough, you know?
Speaker:
And, and that, and that's when you're gonna change your mindset
Speaker:
because it rewires your brain, it helps you have some contentment,
Speaker:
and it also helps you build faith.
Speaker:
Right,
Speaker:
Well, and, and
Speaker:
keep in mind that anybody that's watching or listening to this today.
Speaker:
Is, is living a greater life of convenience than the kings in
Speaker:
Queens of a few hundred years
Speaker:
ago.
Speaker:
I
Speaker:
I mean, pick the richest person that was in, you know that was
Speaker:
alive a couple hundred years
Speaker:
ago.
Speaker:
They
Speaker:
They didn't have, the
Speaker:
conveniences.
Speaker:
We have e even if you're living a fairly,
Speaker:
you know,
Speaker:
uh, you know, fairly uh, um.
Speaker:
Low
Speaker:
income.
Speaker:
Life.
Speaker:
There's a
Speaker:
fancier word I was
Speaker:
to
Speaker:
I think you're trying
Speaker:
to go to modest to life, maybe.
Speaker:
Yeah.
Speaker:
yeah.
Speaker:
yeah.
Speaker:
Maybe.
Speaker:
we'll we'll go We'll go with
Speaker:
that.
Speaker:
We'll go with that.
Speaker:
one.
Speaker:
but, you know, think about that.
Speaker:
You're, you're living better than a king a couple
Speaker:
of hundred years ago.
Speaker:
That's
Speaker:
pretty
Speaker:
It's true.
Speaker:
and And
Speaker:
it's
Speaker:
absolutely
Speaker:
true.
Speaker:
And, and that's the thing I think a lot of people need to understand is when
Speaker:
you feel like all hope is lost, you feel like your finances are overwhelming.
Speaker:
You know, go over to the sink and turn the water on and the water comes
Speaker:
out.
Speaker:
Or I go over to the light switch and turn the light on, the lights turn on.
Speaker:
Like you, you're right.
Speaker:
And it's all about framing that
Speaker:
perspective, Craig.
Speaker:
it is so true.
Speaker:
true.
Speaker:
Yep.
Speaker:
Yep.
Speaker:
Everything's relative.
Speaker:
It is.
Speaker:
It
Speaker:
is.
Speaker:
Well, let's move on to question number four and segment number
Speaker:
four is, and I talked about in, in the show number one 14, and that's
Speaker:
where does your money actually go?
Speaker:
Now we're starting to think about, okay, we started off with prayer.
Speaker:
We started to think about.
Speaker:
having gratitude and, and defining what our enough was.
Speaker:
But then on Thursday show, I really started talking
Speaker:
about that classic mystery.
Speaker:
Where did all my money go?
Speaker:
That feeling of confusion and that lack of awareness.
Speaker:
And we got this question from David in California, and David wrote this
Speaker:
with, and this is a common hurdle.
Speaker:
I see this in my practice all
Speaker:
the time.
Speaker:
David said this, he said, I tried tracking my spending like you suggested
Speaker:
Ralph, but I kept forgetting, or I get discouraging the totals and he tips
Speaker:
for sticking with it and not giving up.
Speaker:
Well, David, that's a great practical question and, and
Speaker:
Thursday's solution to that mystery.
Speaker:
You know, that mystery money problem was simply track where your money's
Speaker:
going for a short period of time.
Speaker:
And, and I think you have to be really careful to, to just observe,
Speaker:
not judge, because if you start judging right at the front end, I.
Speaker:
You're gonna stop doing it because you're gonna say, oh, this, this is, you know
Speaker:
what they say, the, it's the, the juice isn't worth to squeeze, or something
Speaker:
like those, you know, along those lines.
Speaker:
But, and that's why I said, when I was talking on Thursday, you
Speaker:
know, that baby step or that first
Speaker:
step was just observe where it's going.
Speaker:
And, and I think it's real easy to get judgmental with yourself and
Speaker:
then you start, you know, why did I make this decision and why did
Speaker:
I do this and why did I do that?
Speaker:
But if you just observe where, where it's at, then, you know, and, and so Craig,
Speaker:
what practical tips or mindset shifts.
Speaker:
You know, can you think of it help someone like David who, who they really
Speaker:
need to stick with tracking even when they forget or feel discouraged in that.
Speaker:
And you know, it, I, I, I think that that's a, that's a legitimate
Speaker:
thing that David is asking us here is, you know, Ralph, that's great.
Speaker:
Yeah.
Speaker:
You want me to track everything, but every time I start to do
Speaker:
it, either I forget to do it.
Speaker:
I got a feeling he's not forgetting to do it.
Speaker:
I think he doesn't wanna do it because he doesn't like the results that he's seeing.
Speaker:
What are, what are your thoughts,
Speaker:
Greg?
Speaker:
Yeah, Let's, let's say, he did, did just forget.
Speaker:
Well, you know, just try to remember next
Speaker:
time.
Speaker:
you
Speaker:
know, it's not the end of the world If you forget that one
Speaker:
time or the few times.
Speaker:
it's
Speaker:
it's fine.
Speaker:
But the
Speaker:
um,
Speaker:
the, getting discouraged is a little bit
Speaker:
tougher.
Speaker:
I think we need to take
Speaker:
the
Speaker:
attitude
Speaker:
that we're gathering data.
Speaker:
I mean, you, you kind of said this, don't, don't
Speaker:
judge.
Speaker:
And so
Speaker:
you can mentally pretend maybe that it's somebody else.
Speaker:
You're tracking somebody
Speaker:
else's
Speaker:
data or somebody else's
Speaker:
spending, but all you're doing is gathering
Speaker:
data
Speaker:
right now.
Speaker:
And
Speaker:
I,
Speaker:
I think that'll help a lot.
Speaker:
But there, there's an even sneakier trick,
Speaker:
and that's
Speaker:
to think about how you're gonna feel when you have to
Speaker:
record
Speaker:
that
Speaker:
spending.
Speaker:
So
Speaker:
So we can turn that little bit of embarrassment or shame to our
Speaker:
advantage
Speaker:
by proactively
Speaker:
thinking about,
Speaker:
oh, if I buy this candy bar or if I,
Speaker:
you know.
Speaker:
Get the soda or buy the new shoes or whatever it
Speaker:
is,
Speaker:
project,
Speaker:
how that's gonna make you
Speaker:
feel when you have to write
Speaker:
it
Speaker:
down and what, what that can do is that can make you
Speaker:
kind of pause for a
Speaker:
second.
Speaker:
Is this particular
Speaker:
juice worth the squeeze I'm gonna
Speaker:
feel.
Speaker:
when do I have to record
Speaker:
this thing?
Speaker:
And so I, I really think we can make that shame.
Speaker:
and Shame
Speaker:
is a little bit strong, but make that little bit of negative
Speaker:
feeling work for us if we just kind of reframe, recast,
Speaker:
uh,
Speaker:
when we feel, it.
Speaker:
so you do it
Speaker:
proactively
Speaker:
and projecting out how you might
Speaker:
feel rather than retroactively with
Speaker:
regret
Speaker:
and say, oh, I wish I hadn't think.
Speaker:
what if I do,
Speaker:
How am I gonna feel?
Speaker:
I think you're right.
Speaker:
And we also have to remember, perfection isn't the goal.
Speaker:
We're not,
Speaker:
we're not gonna be
Speaker:
perfect.
Speaker:
we're not gonna be perfect.
Speaker:
Awareness is, and you gotta give yourself grace.
Speaker:
I.
Speaker:
you know, and and and this, this is a symbol, but like you said, I
Speaker:
think that, and you know, I, I, I think shame can be motivational.
Speaker:
I think it really can.
Speaker:
It's sort of, it's the accountability thing.
Speaker:
Like right now I'm going through trying to get my A1C down, you know?
Speaker:
'cause I know I've gotta get blood work done here soon and.
Speaker:
The doctor's gonna ask me, you know, what does your numbers look like, Ralph?
Speaker:
So every time I, I go to eat something, I'm like, well, how's
Speaker:
this gonna impact that A1C?
Speaker:
Because I have a goal in mind.
Speaker:
I, and, and it's a daily thing.
Speaker:
It's, it's, I mean, it's kind of like keeping track of your finances, right?
Speaker:
Craig, you and I have talked about this before.
Speaker:
It's keeping track of the cakes and the pies and the chicken and
Speaker:
the, all those kind of stuff.
Speaker:
And, And, but it's all about measuring it because
Speaker:
see, if you think about it as stewards of, of what God has given us.
Speaker:
So We can't manage what we don't measure.
Speaker:
And that's the thing is, and we gotta start measuring this.
Speaker:
And, and so Craig, why do you think so many of us, even if we have a
Speaker:
decent income, often feel clueless about where our money actually goes
Speaker:
day to day?
Speaker:
Because I, I'll tell you what, Craig, and I say this on the show, I, I've
Speaker:
said this to you, I've said this to clients before, how much you make is not
Speaker:
relevant to whether you're gonna live
Speaker:
paycheck to paycheck, because I see people making incomes that you and I go,
Speaker:
wow, that's a good income.
Speaker:
But guess what?
Speaker:
They still have no awareness of where their money's
Speaker:
going and they're struggling to pay their bills.
Speaker:
Well,
Speaker:
I,
Speaker:
this,
Speaker:
you
Speaker:
may disagree with me
Speaker:
on
Speaker:
this.
Speaker:
I
Speaker:
I,
Speaker:
think if you don't have that,
Speaker:
I'm struggling to pay my bills or meet my financial goals,
Speaker:
Should we
Speaker:
we be as worried
Speaker:
about where the money is
Speaker:
going?
Speaker:
I mean, one of, the, one of the things that's nice about having a good
Speaker:
income,
Speaker:
um, especially if you're living well within it and you have your
Speaker:
retirement, your emergency and all of that is,
Speaker:
I don't have to think about every little
Speaker:
expenditure.
Speaker:
So,
Speaker:
but, but that's
Speaker:
very different.
Speaker:
Well, let let, me, let me
Speaker:
draw a weight loss analogy.
Speaker:
So I used to do a lot of running,
Speaker:
I would do distance running, triathlons, half marathons.
Speaker:
Did a lot of
Speaker:
it.
Speaker:
I did not
Speaker:
worry
Speaker:
much
Speaker:
about what I was
Speaker:
eating.
Speaker:
You
Speaker:
know, my
Speaker:
my weight was
Speaker:
Really
Speaker:
good.
Speaker:
I was in fantastic shape.
Speaker:
My, resting pulse rate was in the low forties to upper thirties.
Speaker:
Cholesterol was down around 100.
Speaker:
I mean, everything was fantastic
Speaker:
and I
Speaker:
really
Speaker:
didn't worry about
Speaker:
what I ate
Speaker:
or
Speaker:
drank, but then I quit
Speaker:
running
Speaker:
And
Speaker:
I kept eating
Speaker:
and drinking the way I used to.
Speaker:
And
Speaker:
guess what
Speaker:
happened.
Speaker:
And so you, you really have to balance that
Speaker:
out.
Speaker:
you know, if you're in really strong, you know, financial health,
Speaker:
I mean, it's not a
Speaker:
bad thing to know where your money's going and you should have some sense of
Speaker:
where your money's going, but I don't know that I would write down every
Speaker:
little
Speaker:
expenditure.
Speaker:
Um, but you may disagree.
Speaker:
You're the
Speaker:
financial professor or professional.
Speaker:
I'm just the guy who makes up stuff on the
Speaker:
fly here, so,
Speaker:
Well, I, I, I will disagree with you.
Speaker:
We'll have our, we'll have our first
Speaker:
disagreement
Speaker:
to
Speaker:
go.
Speaker:
show.
Speaker:
And, and I'm just being funny about
Speaker:
that.
Speaker:
Uh, but, but no, here's why I disagree with that.
Speaker:
Because what happens
Speaker:
if,
Speaker:
you know
Speaker:
what happens if you know something happens and you don't have that
Speaker:
financial assurance that you have before?
Speaker:
I think if you're in a habit of keeping track of where it goes.
Speaker:
Now listen, I'm gonna be very candid with you.
Speaker:
I'm not
Speaker:
saying, you know, hey.
Speaker:
Every little dollar, you know, in that particular situation.
Speaker:
But I think you have to have a basic understanding.
Speaker:
And I would bet Craig,
Speaker:
I bet you probably already have that
Speaker:
understanding.
Speaker:
Oh yeah, yeah.
Speaker:
You know what I'm
Speaker:
yeah.
Speaker:
I, I was
Speaker:
going a little bit
Speaker:
but Yeah.
Speaker:
But that, that the prerequisite to what you said is that you already
Speaker:
kind of have an idea of where
Speaker:
your money
Speaker:
goes.
Speaker:
Well, and, and
Speaker:
I'll tell
Speaker:
you
Speaker:
why.
Speaker:
I
Speaker:
have a
Speaker:
pretty good idea.
Speaker:
You you know, I, I pay bills online like a lot of people, so I can look
Speaker:
at what that looks like, and it's
Speaker:
depressing
Speaker:
on occasion, but but I know where it's going.
Speaker:
And
Speaker:
then I look at my credit card bills.
Speaker:
We, We,
Speaker:
we put almost everything on either
Speaker:
a credit card or we have to have a certain number of debit card transactions.
Speaker:
to get 7%
Speaker:
interest on our savings, which is worth,
Speaker:
The risk of the
Speaker:
debit
Speaker:
card to me.
Speaker:
But I do, I scan every Month,
Speaker:
where's
Speaker:
that money going?
Speaker:
And occasionally I will ask my
Speaker:
wife,
Speaker:
you know, not, not in any accusatory way, but it's just, Hey,
Speaker:
sometimes
Speaker:
is this a legitimate
Speaker:
charge?
Speaker:
Something I don't recognize.
Speaker:
And if we need to cut back a little bit, like we're getting ready
Speaker:
to go into the summer, I don't
Speaker:
get paid
Speaker:
over the summer.
Speaker:
so I will remind my
Speaker:
wife
Speaker:
probably later this month or, or sometime next
Speaker:
month,
Speaker:
hey, we're going into summer mode.
Speaker:
I go three
Speaker:
months with, with no
Speaker:
income.
Speaker:
You
Speaker:
know, I plan for it, but still
Speaker:
I've got no
Speaker:
income.
Speaker:
It's like we need to ratchet back a
Speaker:
little bit
Speaker:
and, You know, 'cause it, I mean, it doesn't get lean, but
Speaker:
I, I start getting that savings
Speaker:
account down below where I like to see
Speaker:
it.
Speaker:
And
Speaker:
so
Speaker:
we will have
Speaker:
that conversation.
Speaker:
so I think you're right.
Speaker:
If, if you don't have any idea where your money's
Speaker:
going, something's gonna go
Speaker:
wrong.
Speaker:
But I'm, I'm not gonna write down every candy bar.
Speaker:
Well, I don't, eat candy
Speaker:
bar, so that'd be easy, but.
Speaker:
and Craig, we're gonna revisit that in in our sixth question today, because
Speaker:
I'm gonna talk about that very thing.
Speaker:
But let's move on to number five.
Speaker:
And once I got to Friday, what I started talking about is,
Speaker:
have you found the leak yet?
Speaker:
Because one of the things I talked about on the show was, you know,
Speaker:
writing down everything day to day.
Speaker:
And we addressed that next
Speaker:
step and analyzing that data to find where your money's really
Speaker:
going without feeling overwhelmed.
Speaker:
And we got this question from Chloe.
Speaker:
And Chloe uh, comes to us from New York, and she wrote this.
Speaker:
She said, Ralph, um, I looked at my spending, but honestly, everything seems
Speaker:
essential between housing, food, gas, and kids' needs, there's nothing left.
Speaker:
How do I identify a leak when it feels like there's no fat to trim?
Speaker:
And, uh, Chloe, That's a tough
Speaker:
one.
Speaker:
That's a tough spot And, and really highlights the goal that
Speaker:
I talked about on Friday's show.
Speaker:
And the, the solution I discussed there was to move from that
Speaker:
raw data into insight by really analyzing that track spending.
Speaker:
Here's where I started to talk about, we're gonna pivot
Speaker:
a little bit and actually.
Speaker:
Identify where your money is leaking, what I call that, that the biggest
Speaker:
financial leak, and that's the areas of unintentional or surprised overspending.
Speaker:
So Craig, for someone like Chloe where the budget is already tight
Speaker:
now, you're, you've been very candid.
Speaker:
You and I are both not in this position, so it's a little bit more
Speaker:
difficult for us to talk about.
Speaker:
But I can go back to when I was, so Craig, how can they still look for
Speaker:
potential leaks or areas for optimization?
Speaker:
And is it always about cutting spending?
Speaker:
Well,
Speaker:
to answer that last
Speaker:
question first, it's not always about
Speaker:
spending, I. Um, you know, sometimes you just don't make enough
Speaker:
money
Speaker:
and you've gotta find some way to increase
Speaker:
that income and there are actually
Speaker:
more opportunities there than there used
Speaker:
to,
Speaker:
be.
Speaker:
Um, you know, there, there, are a lot of things you can do
Speaker:
online.
Speaker:
Mean you can fill out surveys online and make a couple hundred
Speaker:
dollars a month, I mean, it, it's
Speaker:
not something that a lot of us would wanna do, but.
Speaker:
it's money.
Speaker:
And so, you know, that kind, of
Speaker:
that kind of income, a little bit of gig work, uh, you know,
Speaker:
something
Speaker:
because if you're in this situation, $200 a month can be
Speaker:
huge.
Speaker:
Then there's the, the, the thing that bothered me here was the kids' needs.
Speaker:
Are
Speaker:
Are those really the kids' needs?
Speaker:
Um,
Speaker:
I,
Speaker:
I, I, had an older
Speaker:
brother.
Speaker:
I, I wore a lot of hand-me-downs.
Speaker:
Um,
Speaker:
you know, did
Speaker:
I need new shoes?
Speaker:
Well, you know, sometimes you did, but often you didn't.
Speaker:
Uh, Why am I stuck on shoes today?
Speaker:
I'm not sure why,
Speaker:
but, um,
Speaker:
you know, are, are they really needs,
Speaker:
or, or, are they wants
Speaker:
food?
Speaker:
Okay.
Speaker:
Are you buying name brands when you could buy generic?
Speaker:
Um, yeah.
Speaker:
I, know that I, when I was eating more bread, there
Speaker:
was a.
Speaker:
A type of bread that, I I think it was Dave's that I just
Speaker:
loved, but it was like four or $5 a
Speaker:
loaf.
Speaker:
It's like 50 cents
Speaker:
a
Speaker:
that.
Speaker:
Yeah.
Speaker:
I
Speaker:
I mean, it's Really.
Speaker:
expensive.
Speaker:
Really.
Speaker:
I
Speaker:
mean,
Speaker:
Bread or something,
Speaker:
I
Speaker:
yeah.
Speaker:
yeah.
Speaker:
That's it.
Speaker:
That's
Speaker:
Yeah.
Speaker:
It's,
Speaker:
especially great healthy wise.
Speaker:
It's great for you.
Speaker:
yeah, it's really good.
Speaker:
Bread,
Speaker:
but,
Speaker:
okay.
Speaker:
If it came down to it, I can buy the
Speaker:
generic store brand.
Speaker:
Wheat bread or whatever it is, and, and my guess is, even for
Speaker:
Chloe,
Speaker:
there are some ways, I know it's, it's, not something we do as much
Speaker:
anymore, but there are people out there that save tons of money every week.
Speaker:
Clipping coupons.
Speaker:
Are
Speaker:
Are you going out to eat at
Speaker:
all?
Speaker:
Are are, is all of your gas
Speaker:
spending
Speaker:
essential?
Speaker:
Are you paying attention?
Speaker:
God, this makes me sound so much like an old man.
Speaker:
Are you leaving lights
Speaker:
on?
Speaker:
You
Speaker:
know, are, what are you doing?
Speaker:
Because there, there's almost always some way you can shave a little bit.
Speaker:
And if you're in this situation,
Speaker:
saving
Speaker:
five bucks here, or 10 bucks there, adds up really quickly
Speaker:
to make a
Speaker:
difference in your
Speaker:
life.
Speaker:
the the other, go ahead.
Speaker:
Sorry
Speaker:
Sorry.
Speaker:
Ray.
Speaker:
Exactly right.
Speaker:
No, that's the whole point of why I did this show is all about finding
Speaker:
your biggest leak, and that's what exactly what you're saying.
Speaker:
Craig, go ahead and continue, but that's what you're talking
Speaker:
about.
Speaker:
well, the other thing, um, I was gonna
Speaker:
mention
Speaker:
is if you do this over a number of
Speaker:
months.
Speaker:
You may find some
Speaker:
fluctuations
Speaker:
that will help you identify that
Speaker:
leak.
Speaker:
Um, you know, if, if, you're spending more money on food
Speaker:
this month than you did last
Speaker:
month, you need to go in and do a little bit more analysis And why is
Speaker:
that?
Speaker:
You know, like our, our power bill fluctuates
Speaker:
like
Speaker:
most
Speaker:
people, but you know, I, it's kind of
Speaker:
predictable, You know, this time of the year it's gonna be here, and this
Speaker:
time of the year, it's getting ready to go into the really expensive
Speaker:
time of the year.
Speaker:
But if I notice, we go from.
Speaker:
You
Speaker:
know, let's
Speaker:
say $300 this month
Speaker:
to $400 next month.
Speaker:
All right?
Speaker:
That seems kind of reasonable because it's
Speaker:
getting hot down here.
Speaker:
We go to $600,
Speaker:
something's
Speaker:
going
Speaker:
on, you know, and I need to figure that out.
Speaker:
But if if you don't start tracking, you can't
Speaker:
start
Speaker:
understanding those fluctuations and doing
Speaker:
some analysis on 'em.
Speaker:
Absolutely true.
Speaker:
Which is a great, uh, tie into our final question.
Speaker:
And the last thing I talked about this week was that,
Speaker:
that B word, that budget word.
Speaker:
But Craig, um, we don't have a lot of time left, so I'm gonna
Speaker:
go right to our sixth question.
Speaker:
This one comes to us from Sam in Georgia.
Speaker:
And you, you, you teed this up perfectly a few minutes ago, my
Speaker:
friend.
Speaker:
You just did.
Speaker:
So this is what Sam said.
Speaker:
He said my income varies quite a bit month to month, uh, as a freelancer, how
Speaker:
can I possibly create a budget when I don't know exactly how much I'll make?
Speaker:
And Craig, I didn't even know that you were paid like that.
Speaker:
I, I guess I just assumed that college professors, you know, got paid every
Speaker:
month regardless of, and maybe you can, maybe there's decision points you
Speaker:
can decide to do that, but, but what I think, I would like to hear you.
Speaker:
Answer or, you know, ask you, Craig, is, you know, Sam's dealing with the same
Speaker:
situation where he is got variable income.
Speaker:
It's a common hurdle.
Speaker:
And I talked all about creating a simple budget, but you know, you know what,
Speaker:
what, how do you deal with that, Craig?
Speaker:
Like if, you know, because you just, you just said something else It's very pointed
Speaker:
and that is, I know my electric bill is gonna be higher living in Louisiana during
Speaker:
the summer and I'm gonna have less income.
Speaker:
So how do you deal with
Speaker:
that?
Speaker:
Well, I, I plan for it
Speaker:
because it is predictable for me.
Speaker:
Unlike, um, Sam, his may not be as predictable.
Speaker:
So I, I plan for it.
Speaker:
I mean, I know and I've got a number I want to be at when I get
Speaker:
my last paycheck for the academic year.
Speaker:
And by the way, most places you
Speaker:
can get paid out over 12, but I'd rather
Speaker:
have my money than have the
Speaker:
state.
Speaker:
Have my money, so I, I have to I have to plan for
Speaker:
it.
Speaker:
Uh, but I, I wanna get your take on this because a, a budget,
Speaker:
in
Speaker:
some respects
Speaker:
is independent of
Speaker:
income.
Speaker:
I
Speaker:
I know that sounds
Speaker:
weird,
Speaker:
but the budget is the plan for
Speaker:
your spending.
Speaker:
And if you have these fluctuations,
Speaker:
you need to plan for the
Speaker:
low
Speaker:
points.
Speaker:
And then you have that discretionary,
Speaker:
you know, a budget isn't just necessities, it's also discretionary
Speaker:
spending.
Speaker:
You know, things, that you you, you wanna be able to go out to the movies or they
Speaker:
still call 'em movies, whatever they
Speaker:
call 'em these days.
Speaker:
you know, you wanna be able to go out to eat, but that goes in your discretionary
Speaker:
and you need to make sure your income can
Speaker:
cover the baseline, the the base
Speaker:
necessities.
Speaker:
and then that, that kind of smooths
Speaker:
out,
Speaker:
you know, if you gets a little bit more
Speaker:
money.
Speaker:
He expects, well then maybe he can go into the
Speaker:
discretionary, uh, or add some savings or whatever, but the budget is about what you
Speaker:
need to spend and what you plan to spend.
Speaker:
It's really,
Speaker:
to
Speaker:
some extent,
Speaker:
independent of income, don't you think?
Speaker:
Absolutely.
Speaker:
And that's one, one of the things I've recommended on this show that day was,
Speaker:
you know, budget based on the lowest expected income And then prioritize
Speaker:
your spending using a buffer, you know?
Speaker:
And, and it's basically, to, you know, you put it very plainly and
Speaker:
that is tell your dollars where to
Speaker:
go.
Speaker:
But it's a plan to do that, right?
Speaker:
I mean, and so you've gotta do that.
Speaker:
A lot of people gotta do that.
Speaker:
You know, I, I do that sort of with the way my business works.
Speaker:
Tax season is a, is a windfall for me in many ways now.
Speaker:
It's not quite as much as it used to be.
Speaker:
you know, But it's definitely that way.
Speaker:
And the other thing I was gonna talk about, you know, so many people get hung
Speaker:
up on the word budget, you know, there's a connotation, like it's this restriction.
Speaker:
And we, and we kind of beat that one up a lot on the show here a lot.
Speaker:
Uh, but, but I just said, you know, it doesn't have to be so complicated.
Speaker:
You know, just write down your estimated lowest possible income
Speaker:
and then list those broad categories and assign dollars to them.
Speaker:
And like you said, if you, if you know you're going to have less
Speaker:
income, so if you're a freelancer.
Speaker:
Like, like this person here, you know?
Speaker:
Then you just gotta say, okay, what's my worst possible month that I can
Speaker:
have, You know that?
Speaker:
And then build your budget around it.
Speaker:
And that may be the month where you don't have the option of.
Speaker:
Eating out or going to the movies or going on a trip.
Speaker:
Like you go, okay, I gotta pay the mortgage, I gotta pay the car
Speaker:
payments, I gotta keep the lights on, I gotta pay the electrical
Speaker:
bill, I gotta pay the utilities.
Speaker:
But you know, you've gotta plan for that ahead of time.
Speaker:
And I think so many people just put their, you know, their, their eyes, you
Speaker:
know, your hands over their eyes and say, oh, I don't know how to fix this.
Speaker:
Well, you do.
Speaker:
You just don't wanna put the hard work in to do
Speaker:
it.
Speaker:
Right.
Speaker:
Well, and there's a flip
Speaker:
side to
Speaker:
this.
Speaker:
If
Speaker:
you
Speaker:
you spend
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the windfall,
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you're gonna have problems when the lean
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times come.
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So you've gotta kind of understand
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this over a period of time.
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and and and he's a freelancer, so it may not be as periodic as yours or
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mine.
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Uh, but
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but
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if I I had friends who
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were real
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estate
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agents
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and the
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the smart ones, when they closed a big sale,
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they
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they might go out and
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celebrate with a little bit of that money, But a big chunk of that
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went into some sort of a savings
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fund
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for those months where
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things got a little bit lean.
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And so even though it may not be
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predictable if you, when you have that windfall, uh, when Sam gets that big
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contract, um, makes a lot of money, if, if they go out and blow that.
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Then they're gonna have trouble when the lean
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times come.
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So I, I think there really is
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that flip side of, oh, when I get this extra money, I wanna go do some
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things that I haven't been able to do.
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And that, that's
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fine, but do it with,
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10% or 20% of that windfall
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and not a hundred percent of that windfall.
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Yeah, and I think that's well
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said, Craig, because I think so many people, they have this, you know, this
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uh, time of great excess and it's like, oh, let's go do this and let's go do this.
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Go buy this and let's go buy that.
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And they don't think about Yeah.
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But next month's around the
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corner.
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You know,
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and, and the three months after that around the
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corner.
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So, but I think we had a great discussion today, Craig, and, and just looking back,
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we talked about starting with prayer.
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We talked about defining enough, practicing gratitude, tracking
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our spending, finding the leaks, and creating a simple budget plan.
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So, you know, and, and all these things gotta work together and
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they help build upon each other.
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And, and I think my big key takeaway for everyone joining us today is
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it's about progress, not perfection.
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And listen, you can't do all these things at once, but take one step.
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Maybe you take today's step as I'm gonna do a better job of tracking.
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Maybe you take today's step and you're gonna pray about your
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finances, or you're gonna start to look for ways to be contentment and
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experience that gratitude for things.
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Because the whole goal is to find joy and peace in
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this, and
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that's really what it comes down to.
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And, and if someone's feeling overwhelmed by trying to do all
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these things with at one time, you know, it's a, it's a struggle.
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And, and that's really the heart of what I do here.
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You know, that financial freedom and growing our Christian
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faith going hand in hand.
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And, and, and that's one of the things I wanna mention before we close today.
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at the beginning I played, we're changing the name of the show.
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Um, we're moving away from Ashcraft to financially confident Christian
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because it's all about, that's what I'm trying to do here on this
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show.
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Every day when we do our live show recap, it's all about helping
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us become more financially.
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Confident Christians, and that's we're gonna be doing over the next few weeks.
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So if you're listening or you're watching this, or maybe you missed the day, you
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know, just go back and check those out.
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Um, and if you haven't started yet, that's okay, but, but be aware those things
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are coming and just pick one action step from this week that resonates with you
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most, and you know where you are right
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now.
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You know, and don't, and listen, give yourself grace, you know, pray about
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it and just start from where you are.
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And that's the key.
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And, and like I said, define your enough.
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Practice gratitude.
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Track your spending, find the leak, and do that simple budget and just take
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that next step because you can do this.
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I have confidence you.
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Craig has confidence in You you can, and you can find links to all
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of our episodes out there on the website@graph.com, and only things
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you wanna bring to your attention.
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If you've never done a budget, I actually put together a budget template.
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You can get that by going to as graph podcast.com/budget.
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So Craig, thanks again so much for joining me today and we walked through this recap.
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It's, it's always good to talk this stuff with you,
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Craig.
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And we had our
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first,
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little
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tiff.
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that was fun.
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Well, you know what, like you said though, but but you, what you said though was
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perfect and that is a debate like that is
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profitable.
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right.
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You know,
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there's profit in that and, and you know, so, you know, Craig, I
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just, I really do appreciate you.
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Sorry.
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Hopefully you get some rest it.
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sounds, You said you're a little sleep deprived, so hopefully that will
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change.
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All right.
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Thanks Ralph.
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And, and just everybody listen, remember you're not alone on the journey.
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Keep seeking him first.
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Take that simple next step and we'll catch you on the next episode of Ralph.
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So until then, stay financially savvy and let's keep our pursuit of
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becoming, like I said, our new title, financially Confident Christians.
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So God bless you and you guys have a great day today and we'll see you next
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time.
