Are You Tired of Living With a Roommate?

Speaker A00:00:37

At what point does paying more for your own peace actually become worth it?Well, in today's episode, I talk with someone who spent years living with roommates, and they finally reach a place where they feel emotionally done sharing their space, even though living alone is going to raise their rent significantly.Financially, they can probably make it work, but emotionally, they're wrestling with guilt over spending more for something that's not technically a need. Guess they've been listening to the show.We talk about needs and wants, and underneath this decision is a deeper question a lot of people quietly carry. Is it irresponsible to spend more money if it genuinely improves your quality of life? I've got the answer to that question on today's show.Hello, friend. Ralph Estep Jr. Here. Thank you so much for joining me on Financially Confident Christian. If you're new to the show, welcome.I am so happy you chose to join us. If you're returning, you know, every day my goal is to break that cycle of financial shame with confidence.And today we've got a question that a lot of young people are asking. Is paying more for your own space worth it? Let's get right into today's question.We got this listener question, says Ralph, I'm 34, and after years of roommates, I am done. My current roommate is moving out, and I don't think I have another roommate season left in me. I am an introvert.Home is my peace, and I want my own space. But here's the problem. The problem is moving from shared housing to living alone is going to increase my rent to about $2,100 a month.I'm paying $1,300 a month now. I make about $5,500 a month after taxes. I've got savings, I got no debt, and I got low expenses. Otherwise. Will it be okay if I make this move?Well, I'm glad you asked me that question. A financial decision can be wise even if it costs more. You're probably amazed at Ralph said that. Yes.But when it's meaningfully improving your life and still fits in your budget, those are things we got to wrestle with this day. And it's funny. I went through this very issue with my son, my youngest son, a few months ago. He'd been renting a room in a shared house. It's kind of.I always thought of it as a social experiment. We had this one, rented this room, this one rented this, and in the end ends up in a fist fight. And the police ended up coming.And one of his roommates got charged now it wasn't my son that got charged, wasn't him, which was great. But like my son, maybe you're listening right now and you've had enough. You've had enough of those seasons of Roommates.Here's what I recommend you do. You got to start by recognizing this is not purely a math decision. If it's just a math decision, you're going to make a different decision.But housing is not just shelter. Where you live affects your peace, it affects your rest. It affects your emotional health and friend quality of life matters.It's not simply, well, this is going to cost me 2100 and I've been paying 1,300. You got to look at the big picture. You got to look at the mental health side of this, the emotional, the peace side of this.My son living where he was, there was no peace there. People were doing all kinds of crazy stuff. The best decision he ever made was to move out on his own.But that said, you got to look at the full financial picture. Now, things you mentioned here. You got strong income relative to the rent, that's great. You got no debt, that's also great.You're doing all the good things, healthy savings. You don't have a bunch of fixed obligations. And you're not making this move from a weak position. That's a lot of things.A lot of times people get backed into a position where they've got to make a decision. You are making a wise decision from a place of positivity. But you got to understand what you're buying. What are you paying for?You're paying for privacy. You don't have roommates anymore. You can do what you want. Like my son says, he can run around his house with no clothes on. Nobody's going to see it.You're buying stability. You don't have to worry about is that roommate not pay the rent. Do we get thrown out of here? You're buying emotional peace.You're buying control over your own environment. Now, from a math perspective, as the financial guy, that's not necessarily a financial return, but it's so much bigger than that.But you got to be honest about the trade offs too. Higher rent means less margin. You might not be able to eat out as much. You may have to curtail your spending.You may have to look at ways to save some money. But think about the peace you're going to have not dealing with those roommates anymore. Yeah, it might mean less flexibility.You might not be able to increase your lifestyle. It also means you're Going to have less room for careless spending what we call disposable income. But peace requires discipline.And that might mean you have to trim your budget in other places. But man, I hear it in your voice, of your tone of voice, in this letter that you sent me. You're done. I get it.But make sure that decision fits your long term goals. You said you had savings. Look at your savings goals. Are you meeting those? Review your future plans.Got to make sure this one time decision doesn't derail a bigger priority. But in the end, if it fits, stop apologizing for wanting peace in your life. Hear me on this. Everyone deserves peace in their life.I liken it to a castle. When I go home at night, I want the castle to be safe. I want it to be peaceful. I want it to be tranquil.Let's take this a little deeper because I think part of what you're wrestling with here is not just the cost, it's the guilt. It's that guilt of spending more on something that others might call unnecessary. Like maybe peace should cost less.Maybe wanting your own space is really being indulgent. But friend, God sees you differently than that. You wanting peace, you wanting rest, you wanting healthy space. That's not selfish.Those are all things you deserve. So I would just say right now, ask the Lord to give you some guidance here. Ask him to help you make a decision without guilt, but really with wisdom.Because peace is not a waste of money when it fits in with wisdom. So here's your win for today. In the end, it's all about intentional spending and budgeting. So for you, calculate your new monthly leftover amount.So subtract that higher rent from your average monthly income and then you'll see the real numbers before deciding on something emotionally. You said it. I'm done, Ralph. But make sure financially you can swing this.Because what you don't want to do is move out on your own and then be strapped and not be able to pay for it. I don't think that's the case with you. You've laid out some basic numbers that I think you're in really good shape.But do the numbers take a look at it. Make that decision both mentally and emotionally and financially and make sure all those things line up.Let's get to our Bible verse today comes to us from the book of Proverbs 15, 16. It says, Better a little with the fear of the Lord than great wealth with turmoil.See, I could drop the mic on that one, because that's really what we're talking about today, peace and stability matter more than maximizing every dollar. Yes, Ralph said it needs versus wants.But but the need to have peace, the need to have tranquility, and the need to have personal security is sometimes worth more than the dollar. Let's pray together. Heavenly Father, I just want to lift up the person trying to make this difficult decision.And Lord, you see their desire for peace, you see their concern about making the right choice, and you know that tension they feel around the cost. Lord, I just ask right now that you would give them wisdom to evaluate this.Honestly help them know whether this move supports the life you're calling them to build. And Lord, remove guilt where there is none and guide them towards wise stewardship in every part of this decision.Let peace and wisdom walk together in all of our lives and we ask this in Jesus name. Amen. Friends, Sometimes paying more is worth it when it supports a healthier life. It just is.And maybe right now you're listening or you're watching and you're wrestling with a financial decision that feels emotional or personal or complicated. I'd love to help you navigate that.You can send me your question at financiallyconfidentchristian.com/question because you're probably not the only one carrying that question. Why? Stewardship is not just about spending less. It's about building a life with peace, with purpose and margin.So if you're battling something right now, reach out to me. Go to financiallyconfidentchristian.com/question Well, thank you so much for joining me today. I appreciate when you come and visit with me every day.It really helps me feel good about where we're going with the show. So I encourage you stay financially savvy. May God bless you and you have a truly wonderful day. Sam.