LIVE SHOW REPLAY - Are Your Spending Habits Aligned With Your Values This Week?
Do your money habits reflect what matters most? In this episode of Ask Ralph , Ralph and Craig revisit key takeaways from recent episodes on budgeting, meal planning, impulse spending, and more, all rooted in the challenge to live below your means with joy and purpose. They respond to real listener questions and offer practical encouragement for tracking expenses, meal prepping with grace, and sticking to a plan that fits your life. If you’re trying to reconnect your faith with how you handle money day to day, it starts by getting your spending habits aligned.
Check out the full podcast episode here
From cash envelope adaptations to flexible grocery strategies and the value of simple check-ins, this episode equips you with practical tools to build momentum without shame. Ralph emphasizes grace over perfection, the importance of conscious decisions over autopilot spending, and the joy that comes from being intentional. Whether you're just starting out or realigning after a slip, you'll find wisdom, encouragement, and real-life solutions to walk forward in faith and financial clarity.
Chapters:
- 00:08 - Taking Control of Your Finances
- 00:41 - Transition to a New Era: Financially Confident Christian
- 10:04 - Meal Planning and Flexibility
- 16:34 - Planning and Grocery Shopping Strategies
- 20:00 - The Psychology of Grocery Shopping
- 27:52 - Navigating Financial Conversations in Relationships
- 33:02 - Needs vs. Wants: Understanding the Distinction
- 41:17 - Understanding Needs vs. Wants
- 47:02 - The Psychology of Coffee Consumption
- 50:45 - The Joy of Intentional Living
Takeaways:
- You're not alone in feeling like your money has a mind of its own, and that's okay!
- Stressing about daily expenses, like coffee or groceries, is super common, so don't feel bad!
- Mastering six practical habits can help you regain control over your finances and reduce anxiety.
- Meal planning is key to saving money and reducing food waste, so plan your meals wisely!
- Using cash envelopes can help curb overspending in tricky categories – it's all about accountability!
- Identifying needs versus wants can be tough, but it empowers you to make intentional financial decisions.
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00:00 - Untitled
00:51 - Untitled
00:59 - Taking Control of Your Finances
01:32 - Transition to a New Era: Financially Confident Christian
10:56 - Meal Planning and Flexibility
17:26 - Planning and Grocery Shopping Strategies
20:51 - The Psychology of Grocery Shopping
28:43 - Navigating Financial Conversations in Relationships
33:54 - Needs vs. Wants: Understanding the Distinction
42:08 - Understanding Needs vs. Wants
47:53 - The Psychology of Coffee Consumption
51:36 - The Joy of Intentional Living
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feeling like your money has a mind of its own stressing about groceries, dinners,
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or that daily coffee that breaks the bank.
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Lemme just tell you you're not alone.
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And today on S Graph Live, we're tackling six practical habits
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that can put you back in control and being peace to your finances.
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Plus, I'm answering your questions live, so stick around.
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It's going to be a game changer.
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Hey, everyone, just wanted to share some exciting news about what's coming soon.
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In the next few weeks, you're gonna see our show currently called as Ralph.
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Getting a fresh new look and a name that I believe really
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speaks to what we're all about.
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We're gonna be transitioning to financially confident Christian.
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And don't worry, it's still me fin.
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We'll still be bringing you that same practical, faith-based financial
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guidance every day to help you tackle debt, to help you build savings and.
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Grow your business and truly break free from the financial shame with
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confidence, and alongside the new name, you'll also see some brand new artwork.
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So keep an eye out for that.
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I am really excited about this next step and how financially confident Christian
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better reflects our mission together.
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I have more details coming soon.
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Hey everyone, and welcome to Ask Ralph Live.
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I'm your host, Ralph, and it's fantastic to be with you on
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this Tuesday at lunchtime.
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Thanks for joining in, and Craig, thank you for joining me.
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As usual, my good friend Craig, welcome to the show.
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Craig.
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Thanks for having me on again, Ralph.
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Oh, you're welcome.
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And we're hoping the audio is coming through without, uh, any echoes.
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And I apologize to the audience for last week.
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That was a trip, but, uh, we, we made it through.
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So for those of you who listen to the Daily podcast, you know, we've been
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walking through some really practical action steps and today we're doing a light
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bit of a recap, a chance to dive a bit deeper into six key topics we covered.
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During our journey, we're gonna touch on using the cash envelope system,
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the sanity saver of meal planning, the discipline of grocery list, why
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a weekly money check-in is crucial, and figuring out needs versus once.
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And the surprising financial punch of that daily coffee habit.
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We've got some great listener questions lined up for each of
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these topics so we can really dig in and make these principles stick.
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My goal today is what it usually is, is to help you move from just
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knowing the ideas to confidently applying them in your own life.
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All while keeping our faith at the center.
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So grab your lunch if you haven't already.
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Settle in and let's get started.
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Alright, well first up, let's talk about cash envelopes.
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We discussed this as a powerful tool for gaining control over
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those tricky budget categories.
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You know, the ones like groceries and eating out, or entertainment where it's
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so easy to overspend without realizing it.
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The idea here is pretty simple.
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Choose one category, label an envelope, put.
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Your budgeted cash amount for the week in that envelope or, or for
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your pay period for that matter.
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And only spend what's in the cash envelope for purchases.
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And when you know, it's nothing magic here, but when the cash is gone, the
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spending stops until the next refill.
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And the key benefit to that was it's tangibility.
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You physically see your money dwindling, which makes you more
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mindful than just swiping a card.
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It's got a build in stopping point.
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Now this generated some really practical questions from listeners,
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and I got this one from Brenda.
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So let me get to our first question here, Craig.
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And this one comes to us from Brenda.
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Brenda says, Ralph, using cash feels inconvenient and maybe even a bit unsafe
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these days compared to my debit card.
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Is it really necessary if I track my spending carefully with my card?
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Well, Brenda, let me say that's a super valid concern.
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That's true, and it's one I hear a lot, and you're right, cash
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can feel less convenient and we should always be mindful of safety.
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But Craig, what do you think about Question here from Brenda.
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Get started.
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No, I'm with her.
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Uh, cash has a lot of downsides.
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Uh, I mean, it, it's got some upsides too, like if you don't
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have it, you can't spend it.
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But that's really not practical, uh, for most people.
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You know, if you're, if you're in a service industry at a, working at a
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place that only takes cash, maybe.
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But I wonder, couldn't you just put an index card in the envelope?
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At the end of every day, go through and, and, you know,
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subtract out whatever you've got.
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I mean, it, it's kind of the same idea.
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The envelope thing really just forces you to budget and that then it forces
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some discipline on your spending.
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So there are ways you can do that with a debit card or credit card, or whatever
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it is that you use to spend your money.
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I agree with you, and here's my take, Craig.
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If you are meticulously tracking your debit card spending and you're
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consistently staying within your budget for all the categories, then
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maybe cash on loops aren't strictly necessary for every area of your life.
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But there is a truth that many of us there.
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There's often at least one or two specific categories, what
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I call the budget busters.
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Where we consistently go over those things despite our best intentions with tracking.
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And that's where I think the cash envelope system really shines, because then it's
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more of a, what I'll call a targeted intervention and a behavioral tool.
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That physical act, and this is the part that I think we can
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talk a little bit about, Craig, is I still think there's value.
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I can remember when I was a little kid, right?
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And I would go to my grandparents for the weekend or something and
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my, my grandfather, before we were walking out the door would dig
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into his pocket and he'd pull out, pull out like a $5 bill, right?
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And he'd take it and kind of stretch it and snap it.
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And he'd go, here you go.
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Here's five bucks for you.
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Well, you know what?
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As a kid, like, I remember that $5, it was harder to spend that $5 because it
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was some tangibility to it, you know?
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And there was that actual cash.
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It, it's so easy to see it in a credit card.
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Craig, what do you think about that?
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Do you, do you think I've off my rocker on that one?
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No, I, I think, I think it's right.
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I mean, it, it still bothers me to break a $20 bill because
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once you break it, it's gone
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well.
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That's just, you know, you've.
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20 bucks, that $50 bill, whatever it is.
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But man, once it gets into those smaller bills, it's so easy to, to
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spend on, on small things that feel like they're nothing but that add up.
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Yeah.
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I, I don't know.
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It, it's, it's a tough question because you and I grew up with cash, but
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my students, they don't carry cash.
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You know, a lot of 'em don't carry wallets.
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You know, they've got their phone, they've got a couple of credit cards, debit card
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in there, and their id, and that's it.
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And so I think you have to adapt the principle to whatever works for your life.
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And so if it's cash, maybe you do that for a while, you know, if it's
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an index card in an envelope, if it's a spreadsheet, whatever works.
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But the point is you gotta start doing something if you wanna
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get control of your spending.
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I agree with you, Craig, and I think this is one of those, and this is
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gonna sound like kind of a mean thing.
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It's kinda like when you first started riding a bike.
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I remember having the training wheels on the back, right?
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You put those wheels on the back because it gave you some stability in the back.
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And I remember, you know, my dad out there on the, on the, on the sidewall,
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all right, 'cause you can do this, you know, and he pushed me a little ways
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and I go maybe three or four feet.
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And then I go to the side and catch that side training wheel.
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And then I go a little bit farther and catch the other side.
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And I think the cash envelope system, in a lot of ways is
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kind of like training wheels.
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Because it gives you a systemic way to look at it and you can, there's a system
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you can use and, and I think there's value in that, but, but I agree with you, Craig,
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and the truth is, I've been to places now where if you try to pay with cash, they
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look at you like you've lost your mind.
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Like, you know, ever since Covid, we don't take cash.
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I. Yeah.
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Um, and that's a real thing.
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And I guess I, I, I'm a little disconnected because you're right, my
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age is kind of showing here because I still remember the days, like my dad
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used to own service stations when I was a kid, and he dealt with a lot of cash.
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And I remember as a kid, like he'd go in his pocket and he'd do this,
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like, you know, like, flip out the cash and, you know, and that was
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just the way he did the business.
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But you're right.
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Today, I don't know how many times clients come in and, and they'll say to me,
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well, do you take my phone for a payment?
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I'm looking at 'em like, yeah, I guess we can do that.
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But I, but I guess you're right, Craig, but it all comes down to keeping track
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of it and, and I think that, you know, I like your idea of an index card.
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I understand there's some kind of like, uh, online way to do these envelopes.
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I don't know what it is off the top of my head, but I, I think the
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big picture, and, and Brenda, this goes along what you were saying.
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I think it allows you to, to change that mindset shift.
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And, and I think that's what we're really trying to do, is we're trying to change
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our mindset and really allocate those things into those buckets or those,
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those envelopes for what it worth.
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And listen, my grandparents used to use this, and I remember
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as a kid, like I was like.
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My grandfather would be like, well, I guess we're not going fishing today
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'cause my fishing envelope is empty.
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And you know, he'd kind of go over to my grandmother and say, can we borrow
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from this budget or from this envelope?
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I want, I wanna take a a Now, look, nobody else calls me this.
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My grandparents used to call me Ralphie.
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Right?
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So if anybody says that as an adult, I'm like, what are you doing?
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But he say, I'm gonna take Ralphie fishing.
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So, but, but I think there's value in it, Craig, but, but you're right.
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I never even thought about the, with your students now, they don't even carry cash.
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No.
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Well, well, here's a little idea.
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Um, I wonder if you couldn't set up a separate account with a
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separate debit card or cash app or whatever, where you put that
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discretionary spending in that account.
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I mean, my first wife and I used to do that.
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She, she was very meticulous.
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If she, our bank accounts didn't balance to the penny, she would've a meltdown.
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Just really, she was very precise like that.
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Well, I didn't keep track of that kind of thing.
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So what we finally did is we had an account and I'd put, I dunno, two
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or $300 a month in that account.
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And then when I wanted cash, I'd go hit that account on the ATM and I only had to
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take her receipts when I put more money in that account and it worked out great.
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So I don't know why you couldn't do the same thing, have a separate account with a
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separate debit debit card or, or whatever.
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You've got that $200 a month or whatever for that, whatever that problem area is,
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whatever that discretionary spending is.
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So I think the point is you can adapt the idea.
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I agree.
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I think that's a, I think that's a splendid idea, Craig.
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I, I, I love it because the whole point is keep and track and accountability.
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Well, I, let's move on to our next day that I talked about and
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we tackled that daily stress of figuring out what's for dinner.
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I dunno about you, Craig, but like, I get this from my wife sometimes.
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You know, and how often that leads to that costly takeout or wasted food.
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And we talked about this idea of meal planning, you know, deciding your
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meals, especially dinners for the week ahead before you hit the grocery store.
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And this really involves a couple things.
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You know, checking your schedule, picking some reasonably simple meals.
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Listen, my wife is the one that cooks, if I'm cooking, we're going
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outta, we're watering out for sure.
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But you know, and seeing what ingredients you already have on hand.
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And when we talk, when I did the show this past week, the benefits are huge because
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it drastically reduces that 5:00 PM panic.
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It saves you a ton of money on those impulse restaurant meals and the last
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minute grocery runs and significantly cuts the cost down on food waste.
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Because I don't know about you and, and your family, Craig, but a lot of times
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if we're not being cognizant of planning those things, you know, my wife will
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go buy stuff and I'll be, Hey, let's go get something to eat for dinner.
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She's like, but Ralph.
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I bought this for this day.
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I, I bought this for this day, which actually led us to
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a question we got from Mark.
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And Mark sent this.
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He said, I tried a meal plan, Ralph, but sticking to it is hard.
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Things change during the week.
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My schedule gets upended and I then I feel like a failure if I don't follow the plan.
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Exactly.
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How flexible should I be?
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Mark, you've hit the nail on the head.
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For so many people, that feeling of needing to stick to the plan perfectly
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can actually be a setup for frustration.
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Hey, Craig, I don't know about you, but anytime that you try to put
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yourself into this rigid plan, you know, and, and you're gonna feel like
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a failure if you don't do it, but the truth is, a meal plan is a guide.
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It doesn't need to be this rigid prison sentence, you know, life happens.
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Craig, what do you think?
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Yeah, a plan is a plan.
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It's not a set of laws.
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So, yeah, I'm absolutely with Mark on this one.
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It just, you know, you made the plan up.
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You can break the plan, but that's, that's within your power.
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Uh, but I wanna give you a little twist on this.
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Do you think maybe it's a bit too far to plan out every day?
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So maybe you plan out four days a week, or three days a week, or
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five days a week, and then leave yourself a little flexibility,
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you know, might have leftovers.
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You might decide you want to go out, you might, uh, decide you're
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tired and you just want a sandwich.
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That, that happens a lot around my house is it's, I'm, I'm too tired to eat,
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but you know, I'm gonna eat something.
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Um, so I, I. I'm kind of with you.
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These, these really rigid plans are a bad idea.
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They're just plans.
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They're just plans.
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They're not laws.
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I, I agree with you, Craig, and what I, one of the notes I put here
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when we talked about this particular call was, you know, you gotta
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figure out how to build flexibility.
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And, and I love what you said, you know, maybe you plan by doing
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four or five dinners for the week.
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You know, leave a couple of nights for leftovers or a, a super simple,
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you know, a pantry raid and be careful what I say there, but a pantry.
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Raid.
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Yes.
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Yes.
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And then, you know, a meal, like breakfast for dinner or pasta with a quick sauce,
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or even a planned budget for takeout meal, if that fits your lifestyle and budget.
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I think there's all things you gotta build into it.
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And you also have to have one or two incredibly easy backup meal ideas on hand.
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I think that's important.
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Well that,
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yeah, and that's an absolutely critical point with all of this,
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is if you have some staples.
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You can turn to when either you, you, you know, your plan didn't work out
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or you don't feel like eating what you know, what you had in the plan.
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Um, boxes of pasta.
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Some jars are pretty good sauce.
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You know, that kind of thing.
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You can throw together something really quickly that tastes good.
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It's got decent nutrition.
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It's not too expensive.
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And to our friend Mark Lollys point, which is not the mark here, you can
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rotate through those staples and if you have some sort of a natural disaster,
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you know, if you've got cans and jars and, and dry goods, you're in good shape.
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So I think if you, if you have some things, whatever it is that you'd like,
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like for me it's, it's pasta when I, you guess what Mine was in grad school.
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I'm gonna say,
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was it ramen noodles?
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It was not.
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You're close.
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Okay.
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You're in the right family.
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So I ate pasta four nights, five nights a week, because it's the
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ultimate bachelor meal, right?
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You need one pot, one plate, one fork, and in a pinch, you
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don't even really need the plate.
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So I, I would eat that a lot.
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And then yellow rice, I love Oh wow.
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Yellow rice.
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And you can put just about anything into some frozen vegetables, chop
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up some ham, you know, a little bacon, whatever you've got.
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So I, I think if you plan ahead that way, not just plan, I'm gonna have this meal
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on this day, but I'm gonna have these things in my cupboard or in my fridge.
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And then if I don't have time to go with the original plan,
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or just don't feel like it.
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I've got this other thing that keeps me from doing, you know, Uber Eats
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or DoorDash or, you know, those kind of things just get expensive quickly.
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Um, so I think that's a decent twist that might help Mark.
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I agree with you.
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And the, the, the mark you were talking about is practical prepping info.
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He's got a great podcast and I would highly recommend it.
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And he talks about this all the time.
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You know, shop your own pantry.
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Uh, but really the goal here is the habit of planning.
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That's what we're talking about here, right?
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We're just trying to reduce that stress and reduce that overspending.
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We're not looking for perfect execution every single day because.
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Things can happen.
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Your kids get sick, or maybe you need to scrap Tuesday's planned meal
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because you need something quicker.
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Evie, something came up and but it, but you still save money
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and stress on the other days because you've, you've got a plan.
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So one of the things I'm gonna say to Mark is give yourself some grace.
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Dude.
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Focus on the overall reduction in the chaos and cost, not on this, this idea
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of flawless adherence because any plan.
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Better than no plan.
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My, my son's in the Coast Guard, my oldest son, he says this all the time.
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He says there's a, there's a five P things or perfect plan.
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I don't know it off the top of my head, but, you know, but he says this all the
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time, is like to not have a plan at all.
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But we're trying to, to build that habit.
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So I think that's really a valid point.
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I know what it is.
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My dad started in the Coast Guard.
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Oh, here we go.
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Prior, prior planning prevents poor performance.
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Well, that's it.
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I think that's it.
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Yeah, I think that's it.
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I, and you came through, so now I don't feel so bad because my son
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will go back and listen to this.
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'cause I think he's, I think he's out on the, on the boat right now.
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But go back, listen.
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The dad, you should have known that.
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So I don't get, just tell, tell him it was a,
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it was a setup to make me look smart and feel good about myself.
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And you just tell him that.
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I will tell him
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that.
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Well, Craig, the next thing we talked about was building
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directly on that meal planning.
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Our next action step was about conquering the grocery store itself.
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So once you've got that meal plan, the solution is to make a detailed grocery
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list based only on the ingredients you need for those meals, plus any
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of those essential staples, and then really commit to sticking to that list.
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No more wander in the aisles.
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The key benefit here was control.
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Again, we're talking about control.
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It helps you avoid those tempting impulse buys and insurers.
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You don't forget crucial items, which means fewer frustrating return trips,
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and most importantly, it keeps your grocery spending aligned with your budget.
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And I'm gonna tell you right now, that's not an easy thing to do.
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And this brought up some common shopping dilemmas.
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And this question came to us from Susan, and Susan wrote this.
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She says, what about amazing sales, Ralph?
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If something I use all the time, like my favorite pasta sauce is half priced,
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but it wasn't on my list for this particular week, should I grab it?
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Well, Susan, that's a classic shopper's question, and it really requires what
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I'll call some discernment on the one hand stick and strictly to the list is
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fantastic for building that discipline.
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Especially when you're, when you're first trying to get spending under control.
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Craig, I know you said you lived on pasta and sauce, so if you saw the
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sale on pasta, I guess you would've probably grabbed it, don't you think?
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Oh, absolutely, and did many times.
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If they had a two for one on my favorite pasta, I would snatch it
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up, but, but I wouldn't do that on things that I didn't regularly buy.
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So I, I think that's really the key in Susan's question, if it is something
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you use all the time, I. Then Sure.
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Why not?
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Assuming that it fits within your budget for that week.
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Um, you, you can go crazy on this.
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So, so I eat granola and yogurt all the time.
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I had it for breakfast and lunch today.
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Um, and the blueberry yogurt was on sale when my wife went
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to the grocery store yesterday.
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So she picked up extra.
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I mean, why wouldn't you?
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Um, but the problem is it's a little bit of a slippery slope.
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So, yeah, the cookies that I like are two for one, so why
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shouldn't I get some cookies?
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Well, are you really gonna buy those cookies every week?
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Or whatever it is.
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And so you, you do have to have a little bit of discipline here, but you know,
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you're, you're adults with agency.
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You get to do what you want.
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And, and if it seems like the right thing to do, buy it.
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If, if it, if it's something that, yeah, I'm not so sure if I'll eat this.
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I, we, we've thrown away a lot of food because one, one of us
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decided, oh, this is on sale.
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It'd be good for some time this week.
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And then it, you know, ends up in the weekly trash.
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So.
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You gotta be a little careful about that sort of thinking.
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Yeah, and I think the other thing you gotta be careful of, and this is one of
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my personal pet peeve, you know, these big box like the Costcos and the Sam's Clubs?
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Mm-hmm.
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You know, the thing is people go in there, oh, they're such a great deal.
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But the problem is like, I can remember going there and it's been
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a couple months ago, but uh, I think it was, um, uh, croissants, right?
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I wonder these croissants, they smelled great.
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I mean, the plate, the thing is you gotta understand.
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When you go into the grocery store or when you go into one of these, I can't
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think of what they're called, like these big box places, you know where
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you can, the, the wholesale clubs.
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You gotta understand something.
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These are marketing people's dreams.
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Like they, their goal is to have you spend every last dollar
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before you leave the store.
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And I'm not criticizing that we live in capitalism.
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That's fantastic, but you gotta understand something.
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They set the stores up for you to overspend.
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And one of my pet peeves is I see people, they fill up their cart.
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I was talking about these croissants.
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Well, these croissants smell great.
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First of all, as a diabetic, I probably shouldn't be eating croissants.
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But I said, these things smell great.
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But the problem is you go over, well, I'll get a couple of them.
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You can't get a couple of them.
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It's like 24 of them.
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Now, first of all, I love croissants, but I don't eat to eat 24 of them.
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And secondarily, if I, if I learn how to, you know, manage my
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food well, you can't freeze 'em.
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You know what I'm saying?
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You know what I'm saying?
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Right, Craig?
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So the problem is you can get yourself into a problem.
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Yeah.
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It's sounds good that there's a, there's a sale where there's these big,
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that's the problem with these big, you know, the, the big wholesale clubs.
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Yeah.
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They have their place, but you know, who needs 50 pounds of rice?
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Right.
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Who needs, you know, things that are staples.
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And that's what I was gonna say here, you know, in response to to, to Susan
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is if it's truly a staple used well before it expires, sure, that's fine.
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But if it's something that, that might go bad or you're gonna
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get tired of, it doesn't make a lot of sense to, to overdo it.
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Now again, mark, from practical prepping, let's say, you
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know, have your pantry closet.
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But the other big takeaway from this show, Craig, what I was trying
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to get people to do was really look at what do you already have?
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What's in your pantry, what's in your freezer?
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Because it's so easy if you don't have that list to go,
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well, I better pick that up.
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And then you get home, you're like, well, I got five of those.
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Or you know, why didn't I use this up?
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It's getting ready to expire.
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I think that's the key.
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I'm sorry.
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It seemed like you had something Well, I was gonna say
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my, my wife just went through our pantry.
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Um, getting rid of things that we're never going to eat.
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It, it, it was shocking.
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I, I'm, I'm not gonna, I can't put a hard number on it, but it would
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surprise me if it was less than several hundred dollars worth of food.
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Yeah.
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That one or the other of us bought thinking, oh, this is, this'll be good.
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This'll be good.
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And it, you know, it just, she'll don, she's already donated it.
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So, and,
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and I think that's where the key is.
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That's why I put these two shows kind of back to back is let's talk about the meal
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planning first and then we talk about developing that list because I think it's
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so crucial that, listen, the truth of the matter, you go to the grocery store, I
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think this is a pretty fair thing to say.
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It's about 30% more than what it cost a couple years ago.
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That's a lot.
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If you're struggling, which listen, all of us are struggling at some level.
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We talked about this on the show many times.
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But if you have a, you know, a plan, if you've got a, a, you
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know, like we talked about the, the whole idea of having a plan.
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If you start to think through that and you have that plan before you go to the
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store, because here's the thing, like a lot of people don't wanna talk about this.
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When you go into the grocery store, the people that do the
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marketing there, they are geniuses.
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They understand what to put at the end cap.
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They understand what to put in certain aisles.
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So when I did this show, or, uh, Craig, I even talked about, you know,
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be strategic in making your list by where the stuff is in the store.
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Because it's so easy to get distracted.
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You know, my, I, I'll give you an example of this.
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My, my, the lady that does some massage therapy for me and my
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wife, she was talking about her, her husband's got this habit.
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Now he goes to the grocery store every day, which sounds good,
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you know, you're getting, you know, fresher food potentially.
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But she said, I had to kind of pull him in and say, wait a second,
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we're spending more than we should because you're going every day.
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And he's like, yeah, I kind of noticed that.
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Because every day I was, oh, look at this sale.
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Oh, look at this sale.
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Well.
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That's the thing.
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So you've gotta ask yourself, do you have room physically
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in your place for this stuff?
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And is there room in your budget for these unplanned purchases?
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Because, you know, you can have a little, what, what I'll call
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your small stock up line item.
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But, but you gotta be really careful that you can't let a good
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deal derail your overall budget.
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And I think that's the key to the whole thing.
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It it is.
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I have an idea, I wanna run past you.
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So a lot of grocery stores now have the A system where you can go online.
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I. Buy your groceries and then just go pick 'em up.
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Uh, I think that might be a good way for somebody that struggles with the
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impulse buying is you have your list, you sit down at your computer, on your
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phone, whatever you use, and, and they make it really like, uh, we do that from
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Walmart and from a local grocery store.
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But with Walmart, it's got the reorder items.
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You know, things that I buy there because they're either cheaper there
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than they are at the local grocery store.
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The local grocery store doesn't have them.
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And I just literally go into the reorder and reorder this
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and this and we don't need that.
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We don't need that.
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And then, you know, hallelujah, they'll deliver it now, which for
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us is a big deal 'cause it's an hour plus to go pick something up.
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But for a lot of people, you swing by.
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You pick it up and you never have to go into the grocery store and be tempted
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by all those, you know, croissants or cookies on the end cap or candy bars in
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the checkout aisle, or whatever it is.
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So I think that might not be a bad thing to do, and, and it's
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pretty efficient time-wise.
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We actually
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do that every week.
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My wife and I, my wife handles the grocery, but like just this
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morning she said, what do you need from Walmart this week?
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And we'll go on Saturday and pick it up.
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They already have it nicely bagged up.
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I make kind of an event, I go get a breakfast sandwich.
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It's my little treat for myself during the week and they load it
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right into the back of the car.
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The other cool thing they started doing, I had no idea about this.
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Craig, my wife told me about this the other day.
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I thought this was brilliant on Walmart's part.
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And listen, I don't own Walmart stock.
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I'm not, uh, trying to promote Walmart in any way, shape or form, but.
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She goes, Ralph, if I go to put it in the cart and they don't
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have it, she said they'll actually ship it to the house for free.
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Yeah.
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And I was like, that is really classic idea from Walmart, because I gotta
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think from the retail perspective.
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Yes, it's convenient.
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Yes, they're probably doing volume, but they are missing out on those sales.
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Now, I don't actually, I'm not actually the one that goes onto the app.
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Craig, do they actually kind of, do they give you popups like, Hey, you might wanna
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consider this, or do they really kind of leave you alone to go through that?
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What, what they do is they will allow you to select substitutes.
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So you can either get them to substitute the next closest thing.
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Mm-hmm.
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Or you can select a substitute, or you can say No substitute.
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If you don't like what they're likely to have as a, as a substitute.
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Like, I have the salad dressing, like I want that salad dressing.
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That's it.
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Mm-hmm.
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And if you don't have it, I'll get it somewhere else.
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Yeah, I
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was
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familiar
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with that.
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What I was talking about is though, when you're actually shopping,
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when you're going through the, does it, does it give you pop-ups?
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I'm thinking like, you know, you don't have the end cap popups when
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you're not walking through the store.
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I'm wondering if some marketer hasn't figured it out already that.
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Every so often on the app we're gonna pop up, uh, you know, buttery croissants and
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we're gonna, I don't know if it does it or not, but I'm thinking maybe I just made
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some marketing people some money here.
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Yeah.
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I, I have not seen that.
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I mean, it makes recommendations, but I, okay.
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I haven't noticed it being intrusive.
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Sorry, I, I was on the wrong wavelength.
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That's okay.
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So now I started, I sounded really smart before and then I
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made up for it on that one, so,
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no, not at all.
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Alright, well let's shift some gears here.
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We talked about specific spending habits, but How do we keep all
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these good intentions and new habits on track consistently?
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And that's where we, we talked about our episode, what I'll call
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episode one twenty one was a 15 minute money check in once a week.
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The idea is to put it on your calendar like any other important appointment.
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And during this time, every week you review your spending from the past week,
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you see how it lines up with your budget.
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You make any necessary adjustments for the week ahead.
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And more importantly, and I think this is key, Craig.
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You celebrate your small wins, or maybe it's a time to
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make some course corrections.
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And really, I think the reason you have to do that, the main benefit
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is it sustains your momentum.
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It keeps your budget, uh, you know, a living document because the budget isn't
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meant to be like put into stone like Moses bringing down the 10 Commandments.
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It's something, it's not just something you make once and forget it.
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And if you're married or partnered, it's a fantastic tool for a communication.
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You could have this, you know, weekly check-in that you're
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staying on the same page.
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And this brought a question from a listener named Kevin.
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So let me get to Kevin's question.
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And Kevin wrote this.
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He said, my spouse rolls their, here we go, Craig, my spouse rolls
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their eyes whenever I mention budgeting or looking at our finances.
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How can I do a meaningfully, a meaningful check-in if they're
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not interested or even resistant?
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Kevin, that's a really common and tough situation.
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I think Craig and I have talked about something very similar on
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the show the last couple weeks when one partner's engaged with
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the finance and the other isn't.
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It does create a challenge.
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Craig, what are your thoughts before we dive into this?
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You know, I, it really is a tough challenge.
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My advice to Kevin would be don't fight it.
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At least not initially.
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You know, I'm not sure unless you're in pretty.
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Significant, uh, dire straits with your finances.
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It's probably not worth the marital strife to try to push this sort of thing,
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don't they say?
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Pick and choose your battles.
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Craig, I think I've heard that before.
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Yeah, I, you know, it.
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If she's not gonna go along with it right now, then okay.
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You know, you still need to communicate, Hey honey, we're
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spending too much over here.
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Or, or, you know, we've, our vacation fund isn't where we want
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it to be, or whatever it might be.
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But I, I mean, I can see getting the eye roll.
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If you said, honey, you know, I've been listening to Ralph
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and he says we should do this.
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And so now every Saturday at 10 o'clock, we're gonna do a 15 minute.
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You know, financial check-in e especially given the division of labor and a
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lot of marriages where it's, okay, so am I gonna not do the laundry?
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Am I gonna not do the shopping?
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Am I gonna not take care of the kids?
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What am I gonna not do in this 15 minutes?
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And so I, I would tread lightly here.
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I got the perfect solution.
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Just send them to our website.
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Just say, honey, listen.
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There's this guy, he is a genius.
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You can listen to him every day.
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Just go listen to his podcast and then we'll be on the same page.
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Now I'm just being funny, but the truth is, I think to really answer the
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question you have to admit to one thing.
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You can only control your own actions and your own attitude.
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Even if your spouse isn't on board right now, you're doing
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a solo check and that's okay.
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It's far better that you're at least doing that and somebody's doing it.
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You can still track your spending, you're aware of.
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You can manage the budget categories you control, and you can monitor progress
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towards your personal or family goals.
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And the other thing, the thing I'm gonna say is focus on general.
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And I think, Craig, this is where you were going focus on general positive
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communication rather than that pressure.
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Because the one thing I don't know about you, Craig.
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But nagging is not going to help the situation.
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It's gonna end up backfiring.
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And when you do these check-ins, if, if there's good news, say start off,
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something's like, Hey, there's great news.
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We actually came in under budget for groceries this week.
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And so one of the ways you can sell is you can say, listen, hey honey, guess what?
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I've been really focusing on our budget and we've got extra money this week.
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So guess what?
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You and I are having date night.
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You know, and then you can say like, we hit that small savings goal we talked
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about, or, and you can share those positive outcomes because I don't know,
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I heard one time in, in management, you always try to build a sandwich.
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You wanna give positive, then fill in the middle with negative
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and then go back to positive.
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And I think that if you can do that in this type of situation.
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It's gonna be better than some lecture.
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You know, here you are professors, you, you're used to lecturing, right?
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And, and, but, but if that doesn't work in a relationship, oftentimes,
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you know, and, and I think that's, I think that's where you're gonna
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run into, you run into problems.
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And, and I think the other takeaway here is model the behavior and model the thing
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that you're, you know, you wanna preach to somebody, you know, model the behavior.
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And when your, when your spouse sees you feeling less stressed about money and
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more in control because of your check-ins.
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That might pique their interest a little bit.
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And in the final thing, because I'm a Christian Guy, I think
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you gotta pray about this.
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You know, pray for unity, pray for those shares, goals in your marriage, and, and
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ask God to soften each other's hearts and bring both to a place of agreement.
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Uh, you know, maybe you could, you know, maybe start off with
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just something like five minutes, maybe 15 minutes is, is too much.
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And, and like I said, just share one positive thing or one shared gold
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rather than this whole big budget.
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You know, it, it goes along with those baby steps 'cause they can
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really lead to bigger breakthroughs.
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They really
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can.
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Well, and I wonder, this may be getting a little bit out there, but I'd wanna
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know why my spouse felt that way.
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You know, the eye roll could be entirely justified if I'm chasing this thing and
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then that thing and then some other thing.
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And then budgeting is just, you know, the thing of the week.
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And so I think a little honest introspection might be worthwhile too.
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Is there some reason.
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That your spouse isn't just on board with this and, and you know, it could
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be that she or he just doesn't want any part of it and they're, or it could be
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something about you and your relationship.
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Absolutely.
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And I, and I think that's why it's, that's why I said, you know, model the
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behavior that you're looking for, right?
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Because your, your, your other partner might be like, yeah, I'm rolling my
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eyes, because you're always talking about budgeting, but then you're the first one
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that wants to go out to eat every night.
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Or you're the first one that wants to go take these grand vacations.
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Or man, every time there's a new iPhone release, man,
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you're right there getting it.
Speaker:
So, I mean, that's the thing, like, it's easy to be that lecturer and
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say, well, you know, why are we doing this and why are we doing that?
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Like, look in the mirror.
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You know, I think that's a really key part.
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Well, well, next up we explored a foundational concept for
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living below your means.
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And that honestly distinguishing between your true needs and
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your discretionary wants.
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And this came up in a episode I did this past week, and the idea
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is to go through your budget or your spending and label items.
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I just, I encouraged everybody to just do a simple label.
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Needs are generally those things for survival and basic functioning.
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That's the, the core housing, the, the basic food, the essential
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utilities, essential transportation.
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To be honest with you, like I said in the show, Craig, once
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are pretty much everything else.
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You know, things that improved the quality of life but aren't
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strictly necessary for survival.
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Those are things like entertainment and eating out.
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And a lot of people would say, listen, the way my wife cooks,
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we gotta eat out every night.
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Oh, I didn't say that anyway.
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Just kidding.
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But upgrades are most subscriptions fashion beyond basic clothing.
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The benefit of this exercise wasn't necessary to eliminate all your wants
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because listen, it's your money.
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Like you said, you're an adult.
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You have the ability to make decisions.
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I wanted to make it crystal clear what things are truly optional because
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this empowers you to make intentional choices and identify areas where
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you could cut back if you needed, if you're having a struggle or you're
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trying to reach that financial goals.
Speaker:
And this led to a thoughtful question from Maria.
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So let's look at what Maria said.
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Maria said, the line between needs and wants feels blurry.
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Sometimes Ralph, for example.
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Isn't reliable internet a need for work or school these days?
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Even if it might have felt like a want years ago, man, I date myself now,
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Craig and I, you know, Maria, you, you're absolutely right that, that
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that line can feel blurry and, and I think that's the truth in any of these
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things, you know, needs, in wants.
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There is a, this, there's a subtle distinction.
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I think some things are obvious.
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And, and, and you know, one of the things I mentioned here as, as we go through
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this is, you know, society has evolved.
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You know, I think the argument could be made now, a cell phone
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is not necessarily a want.
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It's more of a need.
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Like, I don't know how many clients of mine don't even have like, traditional,
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what we'll call like landlines.
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I think we call like, like a smartphone.
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It could be, uh, you know, maybe you need that for your job or, you know,
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it could be a want for somebody else.
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Craig, what do you think?
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You know, have you ever da battled with this whole needs versus want, uh, uh,
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blurriness?
Speaker:
Yes, but to go back to your point, we, we could not get a, a landline
Speaker:
phone when we moved to Louisiana.
Speaker:
It just was impossible to get.
Speaker:
So, yeah, so I think sometimes we have needs and we have wants, and it's really
Speaker:
absolute need this to survive and, um, you can't really see my hands here
Speaker:
and this is absolutely discretionary.
Speaker:
And so things fall somewhere along that continuum.
Speaker:
And I, I think we need to acknowledge that.
Speaker:
So would the world end if you didn't have internet?
Speaker:
No.
Speaker:
In fact, a lot of our students, when Covid hit, they would go sit outside
Speaker:
of McDonald's or some of them would sit in the parking lot on campus
Speaker:
because we have a lot of students that, like me, lived in rural areas,
Speaker:
couldn't get reliable internet.
Speaker:
So is it absolutely a requirement?
Speaker:
No, but, but it's pretty far towards that requirement.
Speaker:
End of the continuum.
Speaker:
You know, uh, I'm, I'm wearing some boots.
Speaker:
I've got a brand of boots I really like and I really want, they've got
Speaker:
this new like Cayman or something like that, you know, lizard skin
Speaker:
boot that I really want that's pretty far over here into the want because
Speaker:
I don't need another pair of boots.
Speaker:
And so I, I think you have to have a little bit of discretion,
Speaker:
uh, about that needs and wants.
Speaker:
And one more thing that could vary.
Speaker:
What might be a need for you might be a want for me or vice versa.
Speaker:
So your point here, and you said this, but I wanna reinforce it, is
Speaker:
to think about this stuff so you can be more intentional, really think,
Speaker:
is this thing truly something I need?
Speaker:
And then I think one way to get at that is to ask yourself, what if I didn't have it?
Speaker:
What would life look like if I didn't have it?
Speaker:
And, and more directly to, um, I think it's Maria Maria's question
Speaker:
is, you know, yes, I, I think you can argue that in most modern day
Speaker:
households, internet is important, but do you need premium gigabit speed?
Speaker:
You know, do you need to have this huge bandwidth with all the bells and whistles,
Speaker:
you know, that extra cost for premium?
Speaker:
That definitely, I think, falls into the one category.
Speaker:
Now, Craig, for you and I who do content creation and we're, we're big, bringing
Speaker:
big files down, we're doing live shows and all that kind of stuff, well, that
Speaker:
gigabit might make the most sense for us.
Speaker:
And that must have been a struggle for you out in the middle of, I wanna say,
Speaker:
out in the middle of nowhere, Louisiana.
Speaker:
But man, that had to have been interesting.
Speaker:
It was, in fact, I got special dispensation to
Speaker:
come to campus during Covid.
Speaker:
The campus was shut down.
Speaker:
We weren't supposed to be in the buildings, but I could not teach online
Speaker:
with what we had, uh, before starlink.
Speaker:
Um, so, but, but it really does vary and I, I think I wanna, I'm a little hesitant
Speaker:
to ask this, but I'm gonna do it anyway.
Speaker:
Do you think you can go too far with this?
Speaker:
Like, I, I don't need the level of fiber.
Speaker:
We just got fiber.
Speaker:
I don't need the level of fiber speed that I got, but you know what?
Speaker:
For 20 bucks a month, it makes me happy.
Speaker:
And for 20 bucks a month, it, it, you know, my financial situation.
Speaker:
That's pretty cheap to feel happy.
Speaker:
So I, I think you can go too far with this in, in the extreme.
Speaker:
Well, and I think it depends.
Speaker:
I think it depends on your situation.
Speaker:
If you're having a hard time making your mortgage payment.
Speaker:
And you're trying to decide, do I get the fiber line or, you know, one of
Speaker:
the things I was gonna mention here is, you know, a basic car to get to work.
Speaker:
If public transportation isn't an option, it isn't, that's
Speaker:
not an option, that's a need.
Speaker:
Like for you, I'm assuming you don't have a train line that comes to your house.
Speaker:
You don't have a bus route that comes to your house.
Speaker:
Now maybe you do, but
Speaker:
not unless I hobo it and catch the, the freighter that comes by.
Speaker:
But,
Speaker:
you know, but, but it's all relative.
Speaker:
But a brand new luxury, SUV with a hefty payment, that's definitely a luxury.
Speaker:
Right.
Speaker:
Simple, nutritious groceries, that's a need, you know, daily gourmet
Speaker:
meals, expensive, organic only items when not medically necessary
Speaker:
or frequent restaurant dinners.
Speaker:
Those are ones, so I think you, it's, it's a continuum, Craig, you know?
Speaker:
Right.
Speaker:
It's a continuum.
Speaker:
Uh, but, but it requires ruthless honesty, and that's
Speaker:
really what I was trying to get.
Speaker:
In that, in that episode, ruthless honesty with yourself.
Speaker:
Because the thing is, it's really easy to argue the other side of that.
Speaker:
You know, it's real easy to say, well, yes, I need 15 subscription
Speaker:
services for streaming tv because there's nothing to watch here.
Speaker:
Do you really need
Speaker:
10 of them are, are you hearing your mom echoing around in your brain?
Speaker:
Always.
Speaker:
How many times when you were a kid did you say, I need this toy?
Speaker:
No.
Speaker:
No, you don't.
Speaker:
You want this toy there, that's a different thing.
Speaker:
Yeah.
Speaker:
And, and I think really what it comes down to, I, I put some notes here, is that, you
Speaker:
know, if it's, I think a want is primarily for comfort, it's for convenience, it's
Speaker:
for entertainment, or dare I say, status.
Speaker:
I. You know, you, you know, you know, you get the simple F-150 pickup truck, right?
Speaker:
That's great.
Speaker:
It does what it needs to do.
Speaker:
It has, you know, it has the functions, but man, do you really need the two
Speaker:
50, you know, the, the dual axle.
Speaker:
Now again, if you're hauling a horse trailer behind it.
Speaker:
You need to have the three point hitch thing in the back.
Speaker:
I think I said that right.
Speaker:
Um, you know, it just depends on what you're doing, you know?
Speaker:
Right.
Speaker:
The core function is the need.
Speaker:
The upgrades are the extras.
Speaker:
That's usually the one.
Speaker:
And that's a great discussion to have if you're partnered with somebody
Speaker:
too, because you know your perception of a need and your, your spouse
Speaker:
or your partner's perception of a need could be totally different.
Speaker:
And that's another one of these things where you may
Speaker:
have to have that discussion.
Speaker:
You know what?
Speaker:
What do needs and wants look like?
Speaker:
The thing is, and we mention on the show all the time, Craig, in this country.
Speaker:
Most of us have the benefit of being able to, to feed our wants.
Speaker:
We really do.
Speaker:
You know, we're not wondering, you know, we're not eating rice and beans
Speaker:
because that's the only thing we have.
Speaker:
Some of us might love rice and beans, like, oh, this is fantastic.
Speaker:
I wanna eat this every day.
Speaker:
Like you said, you eat yogurt and granola.
Speaker:
Well, you could eat other things, but that's your choice, right?
Speaker:
Um.
Speaker:
But it all comes down to what you need and what you want.
Speaker:
That that's really what it comes down to.
Speaker:
You didn't start your business to get rich overnight.
Speaker:
You didn't expect it to be easy, but you also probably didn't
Speaker:
expect it to feel this hard either.
Speaker:
The long hours, the late nights, staring at the numbers, the pressure
Speaker:
to keep it all together while wondering if you're doing something wrong.
Speaker:
Yeah, I've been there too.
Speaker:
I'm Ralph Estep Jr. And after 30 years of running businesses, coaching
Speaker:
entrepreneurs and walking through fire with clients, I can tell you this.
Speaker:
The people you admire didn't skip the hard parts.
Speaker:
They survived them, they grew through them, and that's
Speaker:
what this show is all about.
Speaker:
Welcome to Grit and Growth Business, a podcast for small business
Speaker:
owners who build it from scratch.
Speaker:
No trust funds here, no startup hype, just you, your vision and the
Speaker:
daily grind of keeping it alive.
Speaker:
Every week we get real.
Speaker:
We'll break down the stuff that no one talks about.
Speaker:
How to pay yourself, how to price your work with confidence.
Speaker:
How to grow without burning out and how to build a business that actually
Speaker:
supports your life, not just drains it.
Speaker:
This isn't about chasing hacks or hype.
Speaker:
It's about building on purpose with strategy, with grit, and
Speaker:
with a little help from someone who's done it the hard way.
Speaker:
So if you're a small business owner who's tired of pretending everything's fine.
Speaker:
If you're craving honest insight from someone who's been there where
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you are, then this show is for you.
Speaker:
Visit Grit and growth business.com to learn more.
Speaker:
Get free resources and sign up for our newsletter if you're ready to go deeper.
Speaker:
This is grit and growth business strategies that grow businesses, and
Speaker:
we're just getting started And finally, in the last episode of the week, we
Speaker:
zoomed in on that one common one that often adds up to a surprising amount.
Speaker:
That's why I'm getting a lot of people in trouble here that that
Speaker:
daily bought certy or specialty tea and the solution we tried and.
Speaker:
I gave everybody a challenge, Craig.
Speaker:
I said, I, I wanna give you the 30 day challenge to brew your
Speaker:
coffee or tea at home instead.
Speaker:
And, and the reason I did that, I said, I want you to sit back and really calculate
Speaker:
your potential savings, because it can be anywhere from 50, a hundred dollars
Speaker:
or even $150 a month for some people to get those, you know, I don't know.
Speaker:
When they go to Starbucks, it's like a 15 words, I dunno how
Speaker:
they remember all that stuff.
Speaker:
Like, how do you, I'm a de de I'm like, what in the world did
Speaker:
that person just say, I've only been there a few times, right?
Speaker:
But I go in there and it's like, and I don't know how the person
Speaker:
behind the counter figures it out.
Speaker:
You know, I want this.
Speaker:
Then the ba B, it's like half cap soy latte with oat milk.
Speaker:
And yeah, it's like, what are you doing?
Speaker:
But I, but I said, you know, commit to making that change for
Speaker:
a month because the, the benefit isn't just significant cash saved.
Speaker:
It's also a powerful demonstration of how small, consistent changes in daily habits.
Speaker:
Can have a massive cumulative impact because it builds that discipline muscle.
Speaker:
And we got a question on this from David and let's see what David had to say.
Speaker:
For us, it says, I mostly drink the free coffee at my workplace, which is great,
Speaker:
but I still find myself buying a fancy latte from the coffee shop downstairs
Speaker:
once or twice a week as a treat.
Speaker:
Does that habit still count as something I should try to cut for this challenge?
Speaker:
All right, here's my answer to David.
Speaker:
It depends.
Speaker:
It depends on your situation.
Speaker:
Now, if you want to truly do the 30 day challenge that we talked about, it's all
Speaker:
about breaking daily expensive habits that are significant budget leaks.
Speaker:
And if you've already take advantage of free coffee at work,
Speaker:
then you've already done it.
Speaker:
You've already, you're already way ahead of the game.
Speaker:
I'm talking about people who are, you know, it's funny, my, my youngest
Speaker:
son was telling me about this, Craig, I had no idea about this.
Speaker:
He went to a private Christian school and he said, dad, he says,
Speaker:
I don't know why I remembered this.
Speaker:
We were talking about this show, I think that I was, that I was recording
Speaker:
and he said The girls at school used to bring in, um, uh, Starbucks cups.
Speaker:
I was like, in high school.
Speaker:
He's like, yeah.
Speaker:
He said, but here's the funny thing, dad, most of them didn't
Speaker:
even have Starbucks in them.
Speaker:
He said they just wanted that status of the cup.
Speaker:
So that's really what I was getting at is, you know, why are you doing it?
Speaker:
Is the, I don't drink coffee.
Speaker:
I come over to the office in the morning.
Speaker:
I have one of those, uh, what is it, Keurigs, right?
Speaker:
And I put the little pod in there and I make myself a hot tea.
Speaker:
So for me, this wasn't a big deal.
Speaker:
But Craig, what are you thinking about this?
Speaker:
So I, I would encourage David to try it for a week or two.
Speaker:
'cause you may find that the latte is really not the big deal.
Speaker:
It seems like they're terrible for you to begin with.
Speaker:
Um, so maybe you won't miss it.
Speaker:
But if you find that you really miss that latte on Friday mornings
Speaker:
or to get you started on Monday or whatever, then then buy it.
Speaker:
But.
Speaker:
I mean, David's only getting it once or twice a week, so it probably is a treat.
Speaker:
But these people that are buying these people, that sounds so terrible, but
Speaker:
people who are buying the fancy whatever every day, it's not a treat anymore.
Speaker:
It's not special.
Speaker:
Like I, I eat one, one sausage, egg and cheese biscuit every week.
Speaker:
It's on Thursdays.
Speaker:
That's a big deal for me.
Speaker:
I lo and I eat one, um, uh, cinnamon crisp, um, scone a week.
Speaker:
I don't like missing that scone, but if I ate a scone every day,
Speaker:
then it's just breakfast, you know?
Speaker:
It's, it's just kind of something that's there every day.
Speaker:
So I, I think if you do something over and over and over again, it loses that treat.
Speaker:
It's not a treat anymore.
Speaker:
But to David, I would say try it for a week.
Speaker:
You may find that you miss it.
Speaker:
You may not.
Speaker:
If you really miss it, then have it on Monday, Friday, Wednesday, whenever you
Speaker:
want, but you may just not miss it at all.
Speaker:
You'd be proud of me, Ralph.
Speaker:
Guess what?
Speaker:
I paid for my coffee this morning.
Speaker:
Nothing.
Speaker:
$1 and 11 cents.
Speaker:
One 11.
Speaker:
That's perfect.
Speaker:
Yeah.
Speaker:
Well, I, I don't know that I can make it much cheaper than that,
Speaker:
frankly.
Speaker:
Maybe a little bit.
Speaker:
And that's a whole point, isn't it?
Speaker:
Yep.
Speaker:
Yep.
Speaker:
And that's where we, David, my answer's kind of twofold.
Speaker:
Number one thing, if you have it in your budget to do this a couple times a week.
Speaker:
I'm not gonna be standing in, in the way of doing that.
Speaker:
But I think the thing, the thing you're really alluding to, Craig,
Speaker:
is why are people doing this?
Speaker:
Is it that social connection?
Speaker:
Is it that habit?
Speaker:
Is that response to stress or boredom or you know, are you buying it because,
Speaker:
hey, that's my one treat to myself.
Speaker:
Hey, listen, we all work hard.
Speaker:
Most of us work hard.
Speaker:
I'll say that if, if that's your treat to yourself, great.
Speaker:
It's better than smoking crack or doing heroin or something like that.
Speaker:
I mean, that sounds ridiculous, but you know what I'm saying.
Speaker:
Craig, if, if that's your vice.
Speaker:
You know, and you're mindful about budgeting and it brings you joy
Speaker:
and it's not compromising your bigger financial goals, then
Speaker:
doing it a couple times a week.
Speaker:
What's the big deal?
Speaker:
Well, you, you hit on the really key word.
Speaker:
Uh, I'm gonna lay a quote on you.
Speaker:
I think it's Woodrow Wilson.
Speaker:
Habit Rules, the Unre reflecting herd.
Speaker:
And so what, what that basically means is that if you're just being
Speaker:
guided by habit, you're on autopilot.
Speaker:
You're not really being intentional, you're not really
Speaker:
being thoughtful about anything.
Speaker:
And so with David, after trying it for a week or two, decides, you know, I really
Speaker:
like that latte to get my week started.
Speaker:
Or, you know, I go down and my, my coworkers and I go down and
Speaker:
we, you know, we sit for a little while and chat about the week.
Speaker:
That's just been and.
Speaker:
Then it's not habit anymore.
Speaker:
You've kind of broken that habit.
Speaker:
You've made an intentional decision, you've reflected on it.
Speaker:
You wanna do, it doesn't hurt your budget.
Speaker:
Go for it.
Speaker:
You get to do what you want.
Speaker:
But if it's just habit, you're giving up control.
Speaker:
Yeah, and I think what you're really talking about is conscious
Speaker:
versus unconscious decisions.
Speaker:
Craig And, and I think you're right.
Speaker:
I think so many people.
Speaker:
Was it Marx that said that?
Speaker:
I think he talked about religions, the of the masses.
Speaker:
Because are people really thinking through it?
Speaker:
And that's what I think the problem is with these type
Speaker:
of, I call 'em trendy things.
Speaker:
You know?
Speaker:
Are you doing it because of, well, I went to Starbucks, or,
Speaker:
and we're picking on Starbucks.
Speaker:
There's a lot of other ones.
Speaker:
Dunking Donuts.
Speaker:
I mean, you can, you can name a bunch of them.
Speaker:
I'm a little concerned that I quoted a US president and you quoted Karl Marx.
Speaker:
I don't know what to think about that.
Speaker:
Hey, listen, that's, that's a beard stroker there.
Speaker:
I'm might have to stroke my beard and ponder that one, but,
Speaker:
but I'm just saying like, it's so easy.
Speaker:
You're right.
Speaker:
No, but it's so easy to get caught up in the unconscious and that was the
Speaker:
whole reason that I made the challenge is I wanted people to think about it.
Speaker:
You know, challenge your thoughts.
Speaker:
Are you doing it because it's a genuine, I love this.
Speaker:
Like, one of the things my wife says to me, she goes,
Speaker:
Ralph, we eat out all the time.
Speaker:
And I, and she says, is my food no good?
Speaker:
I was like, oh boy.
Speaker:
I stepped in it on that one.
Speaker:
My wife is a great cook.
Speaker:
And I thought about it and I, and I really, and, and for me
Speaker:
it was the socialization of it.
Speaker:
It was the going.
Speaker:
'cause I, you know, I, I have my, my office here on the farm.
Speaker:
I live here on the farm, like there are days Craig, or several say
Speaker:
several days when I don't leave.
Speaker:
I call it the compound.
Speaker:
And for me, going out to dinner was kind of like an escape.
Speaker:
It was like, Hey, they let me out like, like some days I feel like I'm
Speaker:
in prison, like I'm at the prison camp.
Speaker:
Right.
Speaker:
You know, it's like, oh, he can go out today.
Speaker:
For me, it wasn't about the food so much, it wasn't about what they were serving.
Speaker:
It was just the, the idea of the socialization.
Speaker:
It was getting out to talking to other people and, and all that kind of stuff.
Speaker:
But again, I looked at my finances.
Speaker:
It's in alignment with my financial plans, and it's not, it's, it's
Speaker:
not a, you know, unconscious habit.
Speaker:
I'm not doing it because I, you know, somebody is, is leading me to do it.
Speaker:
It's not some subliminal advertising that says Go, go do this and this because,
Speaker:
well, all the cool kids are doing it.
Speaker:
No, the, the juice is worth the squeeze for you when it comes
Speaker:
to going out periodically.
Speaker:
So, yeah, I, that, that idea of intentionality I think is, is
Speaker:
an undercurrent for all of this.
Speaker:
So, Craig, any big takeaways on what we talked about today?
Speaker:
Uh, as we talked about, you know, how to, you know, the whole point of this, this
Speaker:
30 day series I'm in on the show was, you know, the joy of living below your means.
Speaker:
I'm really trying to show people that.
Speaker:
Restriction isn't a dirty word.
Speaker:
There are benefits to doing it.
Speaker:
And I'm just picking little one thing at a time and saying, Hey, focus on this.
Speaker:
Like, you know, this week as I'm recording shows, we're, we're talking
Speaker:
about some other things that we can do.
Speaker:
You know, uh, we're talking about buying, you know, things that, uh,
Speaker:
you know, you can find sales on.
Speaker:
We're, you know, shop at home, you know, borrow and barter
Speaker:
and all those kind of things.
Speaker:
Any, any big takeaways that you feel, Craig?
Speaker:
Yeah, I, I wanna circle back to something that you said early on, and,
Speaker:
and that's, give yourself some grace.
Speaker:
You know, this is a journey and you're gonna have some wins, and
Speaker:
you're gonna have some losses.
Speaker:
You're gonna do some great things, and you're gonna make some mistakes.
Speaker:
If you get down on yourself when you make mistakes, you're gonna stop
Speaker:
doing it because that's unpleasant.
Speaker:
If, if it's, if you just practice a little self grace and say, you know what?
Speaker:
I bought that candy bar and I probably shouldn't have, well
Speaker:
then don't buy it next time.
Speaker:
You know, don't beat yourself up over it.
Speaker:
You bought the candy bar.
Speaker:
That's, that's gone.
Speaker:
Can't do anything about that.
Speaker:
Just maybe, you know, use the way you felt to trigger you to not buy it next time.
Speaker:
If you beat yourself up, you will absolutely stop doing this.
Speaker:
Yeah, and that's why the overall theme of my show is,
Speaker:
you know how to break the cycle.
Speaker:
You know that, that cycle of financial shame with confidence, I'm trying
Speaker:
to build confidence and, and all of these things have in common something.
Speaker:
They're about moving from being reactive with our money to being proactive and
Speaker:
being intentional in their practical ways.
Speaker:
We live out, our calling is good stewards of the resources God has given us.
Speaker:
These, these aren't just about numbers.
Speaker:
They're about creating peace and reducing stress and freeing up resources
Speaker:
so we can live more generously and pursue purposes God has for us.
Speaker:
And you gotta remember the theme of our series, like I said, the
Speaker:
joy of living below your means that joy comes from this intentionality.
Speaker:
That's the alignment of our faith and our finances.
Speaker:
So my encouragement to you today is you head into the rest of your week.
Speaker:
Pick just one of these areas that we, that we talked about today.
Speaker:
Maybe the one that sparked a new idea or felt like a particular challenge
Speaker:
and commit to focusing in on it.
Speaker:
'cause small steps consistently taken, they lead to big changes.
Speaker:
So, Craig, thanks for joining me and thanks everybody for joining me today.
Speaker:
It's a, it's a privilege to walk this journey with you.
Speaker:
It's great to have you every week here with me, Craig.
Speaker:
We have some great conversations and keep those questions coming.
Speaker:
You can visit us now.
Speaker:
We've got a new website.
Speaker:
You can still get to us by going to the L website, but as
Speaker:
we rebrand, our new website is.
Speaker:
Financially confident christian.com.
Speaker:
You can submit your questions there.
Speaker:
You can find all of our shows and resources there, and I wanna encourage
Speaker:
everybody to share this podcast, share the show with someone you think might benefit.
Speaker:
So Craig, I'd like to close in prayer if that's okay with you.
Speaker:
Father God, thank you for your wisdom that guides us in all areas
Speaker:
of our life, including our finances.
Speaker:
Lord, we pray for everyone listening.
Speaker:
That you would give them clarity, that you would give them
Speaker:
discipline and give them courage to implement these practical steps.
Speaker:
Help us all to be faithful stewards, finding joy and peace, not in abundance of
Speaker:
things, but in a right relationship with you and with the resources you provide us.
Speaker:
Give us the strength for the journey and grace when we stumble.
Speaker:
and we ask this in Jesus' name.
Speaker:
Amen.
Speaker:
Well, thanks again for tuning in.
Speaker:
God bless you, and I'll talk to you next week on our, on our weekly episode, and
Speaker:
you can join me every day on Ask Ralph.
Speaker:
So again, Craig, take care and God bless everybody.
Speaker:
Everybody have a great day today.
Craig Van Slyke
Professor
Craig Van Slyke is the Mike McCallister Eminent Scholar Chair in Information Systems at Louisiana Tech University. Prior to joining Tech, he was professor and dean of the W.A. Franke College of Business at Northern Arizona University, and before that, professor, associate dean and department chair at Saint Louis University. He has also held faculty positions at the University of Central Florida, and Ohio University. He holds a Ph.D. in Information Systems from the University of South Florida. His current research focuses on behavioral aspects of information technology, cyber security, and privacy. Dr. Van Slyke has published over fifty articles in respected academic journals including Communications of the AIS, Decision Sciences, Communications of the ACM, European Journal of Information Systems, The DATA BASE for Advances in Information Systems, and Journal of the Association for Information Systems. The fifth edition of his fourth co-authored textbook, Information Systems in Business: An Experiential Approach, will be published in 2024.
