How Can I Teach My Teenager About Money Without Constant Arguing?

Ralph00:00:00

Hey, let's face it, your teenagers want more independence. They want more spending money. Of course they do. Maybe even a new car.But does the thought of those money conversations in your family quickly turn into constant arguments or maybe deep worries about their financial future? Let me ask you today, what if you could teach your teen strong money habits without the stress, without the fights and without the tension?Well, stick with me today because I've got answers on exactly how to make that happen.And that's what I'm talking about on today's show, Financially Confident Christian, your daily dose of gospel, grounded insight and faith driven tips to help you break the cycle of financial shame with confidence. Hey there and welcome back to today's Financially Confident Christian. I'm Ralph and I am so happy that you've chose to join me today.This is the show where we answer that big question, how can I become a financially confident Christian? And we continue in our series Money for Back to School and Beyond. Yesterday we talked about planning for college education costs.We talked about doing it with wisdom. So if you missed it, I'm going to encourage you to check it out.You can find out all of our episodes financiallyconfidentchristian.com well, today we're going to change it up completely. Today we're going to talk about teaching those teens. Yeah, as soon as you hear that, you start thinking, Rob Teaching teens.Oh, I can't wait to hear this one. That's what we're going to talk about today, teaching teens about money. We're going to talk about allowances.We're going to talk about part time jobs. And we're going to talk about how to show them how to make smart spending decisions. Because, hey, listen, I've had teens. My kids are 24 and 28 now.It's a typical family convict. When I talk to clients, when they come in and meet with me, I hear the same things over and over. Teens want freedom and parents worry.Those are the two absolutes. Teens want freedom and parents worry. And what does that lead to? It leads to arguments.It leads to arguments about how much money teens get, how they choose to spend it, whether they should get a job. Listen, let me tell you right now, that can lead to tension between husband and wives too.And as this tension starts to build, it makes teaching even harder because nobody wants to talk when everybody's fighting, when everybody's at each other's throats.And if we're being honest as parents, and I'm assuming right now, listen, and maybe you're a parent, but parents fear Kids will make costly financial mistakes. You know why? Because I can speak for experience myself. I've made those mistakes. So as parents, we feel it.We don't want our kids to make those same mistakes. We don't want our kids to struggle like we struggled when we were their age.And of course, teens, that's a whole other story, because teens often feel misunderstood, or if we're lucky, they feel micromanaged. But here's the thing I want you to understand. Today, the teen years are the prime time to really start teaching about biblical stewardship.It's a great time to teaching them about the money part of being faithful in their stewardship of their finances. And listen, as a parent, teaching money is part of faithful parenting. Well, let's get right into the word of God. Let me tie this together for you.In the book of Proverbs, chapter 22, verse 6. Hey, this is about as direct as you can get. It says this again, Proverbs 22, 6.Train a child in the way that he should go, and when he is old, he will not turn from it. Well, think about that. I don't know how to say it better than the scripture. This applies directly to money education as well.If you don't train your teens to manage their money well, guess what's going to happen? They're going to be young adults that don't know how to manage their money well.Then they're going to be older adults with families who don't know how to manage their money. Well, let's look at another Bible verse, and this one is from the book of Proverbs again, chapter one, verse five.And I mentioned this one a couple days ago on the show. It says this again, Proverbs 1:5. Let the wise listen and add to their learning and let the discerning get guidance.See, as a parent, we are charged with this. We are charged with the, the absolute requirement to provide wisdom to our children as they learn and as they grow. And here's one more Bible verse.This one comes to us from the book of Luke, chapter 16, verse 10. This doesn't really have it to do so much with the education side, but it really talks about how to manage things. Again, Luke 16:10.It says, Whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much. And see, trust grows from managing small amounts well. And that's the lesson that we need to impart on our teenagers.So my main strategy today, if you didn't listen to anything else I say this is the main strategy. Set up a clear age Appropriate money system for your teen that includes things like this.Teach them about earning money, what it's like to have a job, what it's like to do. You know, we'll call those side hustles. As a teenager, hey, listen, as a kid I had a paper route.I used to cut grass for people around the neighborhood. I knew what it meant to earn money. That's part of it. But the other side of it is teach them how to budget wisely. A lot of parents overlook that.We just say, well, you know, the kids got money. If that's what they want to waste their money on, you know, we'll bail them out. But that's not the right answer.We really need to work on teaching our children to budget wisely. Hey, that can start off when they're very young, help them to make better spending decisions and maybe build in some accountability to that.Because here's the big takeaway. You want to create ownership of their finances that they understand where there's money is going.Some of the most well adjusted teenagers that I know financially had those tough decisions to make.They had parents that gave them the ability to earn money, to budget wisely and then hold them accountable because you want to build that responsibility. And hey, when they're doing this, it's going to end up with less friction. So here's your one action step for today.And the big takeaway from this is start instilling wise financial habits in your teens. With these steps, I'm going to give you a couple steps. First thing I want you to do is define how they're going to receive money.Now, if you listen to my show the other day, I talked about how I don't think an allowance is the right plan. I'm going to encourage you to go check that out. The things I like to say better is give them a commission.See, I don't want to build them into just takers from the system.I, I think with an allowance, we're just saying to our kids, hey, this is what you're going to get just for the sake of being alive and having breath in your lungs. I think that's a mistake. But you can teach them what it's like to work and earn something. So that's what I'm saying. Do commissions for their chores.They take out the garbage. Maybe, hey, that's two bucks a week if you take out the garbage. And you can be creative in this. And of course it depends on the kid's age.I also firmly believe that it's a good thing to encourage your kids to go get that summer job or that evening job just to make sure it doesn't take away from their education. But define how they're going to receive that money and set those expectations early.Hey, set them early so your kids aren't like, wait a minute, I just thought you were always going to cover this. That will cause arguments and that will cause tension.But if you lay it out ahead of time and define how they're going to receive the money, it's going to help break down that tension. So that's the first step. Define how they'll receive their money. The second step, parents don't think about this one. Practice budgeting together.I mentioned on the show several times, maybe you start thinking about those simple categories. We talked about the toddler sitting in front of three jars, basically a spend jar, a save jar and a give jar.You can do this with jars, you can do this with envelopes. Hey, you're teenage, probably have more technological background than you do. Maybe there's some great apps out there they can use.But start to budget with them, review their spending with them. Focus on learning. It's not about judging.Just talk to them about, hey, let's talk about your spending, let's talk about your savings, let's talk about your giving. Maybe you give them an envelope system. Hey, it works for a lot of people that I know.They give their kids that envelope system or they give their kids jars to start training them.One of the things that I think is very beneficial is they start to understand that scarcity of resources and they start thinking about, well, if I spend this, that means I can't save this and if I can't save this, I can't give this. And then review that spending with them. Focus on, hey, what could you learn from this?It's not the time to say, I can't believe you bought that or I can't believe you did this, that's a bad plan. But focus on reviewing to learn. So that's step two, practice budgeting together. And here's step three, encourage the first job.Now, again, it depends on your kid. If your kid's really struggling in school, I'm going to tell you that's not the place to go.But summer or part time jobs when they're age appropriate are great things. And this is a great way to teach them things like getting paid, what that looks like, what is, what does it feel like to get a paycheck?What do taxes look like?One of the things, when my kids were younger, I Remember my youngest got his first job and he was all excited to say, dad, I'm going to get my first paycheck Friday. Well, I picked him up at work. He was working at a burger joint. He came out, he was so disappointed. I said, son, what's going on?He says, man, I got ripped off. I said, what do you mean you got ripped off? He said, I got my paycheck and I multiply my hours times my rate, dad, and I didn't get my full paycheck.I say, hey, welcome to the world of paying taxes. And that's one of the things that our children and our teen children especially need to understand.They don't get all their take home pay, but you can also talk them through savings. You can talk to them, hey, here's a great thing.It's one of the reasons I really think having a summer or a part time job is good because you can start to train them and give them education about balancing school and balancing work. So that's step number three and that's encourage that first job again if it's appropriate or if it's appropriate for them.Step four is I'm going to encourage you to have a monthly money talk. Just a quick regular check in maybe 10 or 15 minutes a month. It doesn't have to be overwhelming. Make sure you pick your time.Not the time to do it when they're running out the door to go play with their friends or be with their girlfriend, but really set it up ahead of time. Schedule it. Ask them questions, asking them about their money. Ask them, hey, what's working? Hey, what's working? What are you struggling with?Yeah, I've struggled with that too. Be honest with them. Tell them about your own struggles.If you don't want them to make the same mistakes that you've made, start being honest with them. Talk to them about what's challenging them, what is, what are the challenges that they're facing. Be supportive.It's so easy for us to parents to be critical. This is not the time to be critical. If you want your kids to embrace this education, you want your kids to embrace this training, then be supportive.Explain to them, hey, yeah, I made those mistakes. One of the things that's been very valuable for me is when my two boys come to me and they say, dad, I got this financial question.I can say to them many times because listen, I made a ton of mistakes. I can say to them, yeah, I made that same mistake when I was your age.I made that same mistake 10 years ago and Listen, you can be supportive without being critical. And all of this works because it transforms those arguments and it's so easy to argue with your teens.Hey, listen, it's a tough time for parents and it's a tough time for kids. But all the things I talked about today are going to transform those arguments into growth opportunities.And you're going to help them build practical skills that they're going to use for life. You can train them how to handle money God's way, how to make wise choices.And listen, I talk about on the show all the time how for them to grow into financially confident and independent adults. How about we pray together now? Father God, we just thank you for the gift of our teenagers, Lord, and for their journey in independence.Now some of these, we don't feel like they're a gift, Lord, but we do really thank you for them. And we confess that teaching them about money can feel challenging, Lord, and can lead us to arguments.And it really addresses our fears of them making the same mistakes we made. So we would ask that you would grant us wisdom and grant us patience as we guide them in financial literacy.We ask that you would help our teenagers hearts to be open to learning diligence and open to learning responsibility and open to learning wise stewardship. And we just ask that you would guide them as they earn. Maybe they've got that first job.And guide them as they save and spend and most importantly, guide them as they thought to be cheerful givers, Lord, so they can honor you with their resources and walk in financial confidence. And Lord, we ask this in confidence in Jesus name, Amen. Listen, equip your teen today with just one small money lesson.Just one of the things we talk about. Maybe it's those jars, maybe it's that, hey, let's talk about your first job. Just talk to them, ask them what their expectations are.Set those expectations with them. Nothing I'm going to encourage you to do is share the show with the people you might know.Somebody that's dealing with the same struggles that you're dealing with. Maybe like hey Rob, I listen to your show every day and I'm always learning something new. Well, how about you share that with somebody?Share it with a family member, share it with a friend, maybe somebody at work or maybe somebody in your parents group.You can just point them directly to financiallyconfidentchristian.com hey, send them a text, send them an email and say hey, there's a lot of good information here. Well, tomorrow we're going to talk about fall financial prep yes. We're going to talk about reviewing your home, auto and life insurance.Ralph's going to put on his life insurance cap so we can ensure you've got protection without overpaying. It's going to be a great show tomorrow. I'm encourage you to check it out. Well, let's all go out there today and be financially confident Christians.You can do this. I have confidence in you. Have confidence in yourself. Stay financially savvy. God bless you. And you have a great day today.