What Are Healthier Ways to Reward Yourself After a Hard Day?

Speaker A00:01:20

Have you ever thought to yourself, I deserve this? You know, you've had that long, exhausting day. You worked hard, you held it together. Maybe you just survived the day. So you click purchase.Or maybe you order takeout or add one more thing to that cart you've been shopping for. And for a moment it feels like relief. Well, until the guilt shows back up again, friend, you deserve rest.But rest and spending are not the same thing. And today we're going to build a better reward system. One that restores you without draining you. Hey, friend. Ralph Estep Jr. Here.This is financially confident Christian, where every day my big goal is to break that cycle of financial shame and help you live in confidence. I truly believe so many of us live in this constant state of shame where we've made bad decisions or we've done things we wish we hadn't done.But we can break that. We're going to break it together today. We're going to talk about how to reward yourself after a hard day. Listen, it's tax season for me.I got a lot of hard days that are happening. But I got this listener question. We're going to jump right to it. And this listener question is this.It says, Ralph, when I'm exhausted, I spend to take the edge off. Man, I can tell you what, I can rely that one. For a moment it feels soothing, like I've given myself a small reward for surviving the day.But then the guilt creeps in and I'm left feeling worse than before. I know it's really not helping me. How do I create a pause in that moment so I can choose something different instead?Like I said, I could have wrote that question myself. Been there many times. Because I think the problem is we've got a broken idea here. You don't need a purchase. What you need is restoration.And I think so many times our world thinks, well, if you make this purchase, you're going to restore yourself. But it doesn't work, does it? So let's talk about how to make it work.The first thing I think you've absolutely got to do is build a 10 minute pause ritual. You got to know what to do when this feeling comes. Because when you're exhausted, it lowers your discipline. It just does.I know when I'm exhausted, don't get around me. Sometimes when I get exhausted, I say things I shouldn't say. I'm kind of like a bare not a good place to be. So you can't rely on your willpower.It's not going to work when you're exhausted. But what will work is if you create a simple ritual.So when the day ends, before you open any shopping app, sit down, maybe you've got a comfortable chair or a bench, and just breathe. You know, one thing I think in our culture, we don't do enough of is just concentrated breathing.I don't know about you, but I just take a deep breath. I can already feel it myself. And while you're breathing, pray a little bit. Go to God and say, God, you know, I've had a rough day.God wants to hear from you. Drink some water. As a culture, I don't know where you listen to this from, but I think everybody, we live in this constant state of dehydration.Maybe just close your eyes for two minutes, because when you do any of those things, you're signaling to your nervous system. I'm safe. I can slow down. So it starts there. Second thing I want you to do is to separate the reward from relief.Because what's interesting is spending gives stimulation, but what you actually need is regulation. I know that sounds contradictory, right? So ask yourself, am I tired? Am I overstimulated?Maybe like so many of us, you're just emotionally drained, and that relief doesn't need to be spending. Sometimes it really feels like silence. Maybe you've had a hectic day. There's noise all around you. You're going here and going there.Sometimes it's good to just walk and just sit somewhere and just listen to the birds or just listen to the quietness. It's a great time to do music. Listen. One of the things that we do, we have another channel called Truth Unveiled with Ralph.I encourage you to check it out. But we release a show, a song every week. And we've done country music, we've done hard rock, we've done spiritual gospel.We've done all kinds of things. And what people tell me every day is, Ralph, it's really helping me reconnect and revitalize. And we find what's important.We'll put a link to that in the show notes, but I encourage you to check that out. It's on YouTube. It's on iTunes. You can get it on Spotify, all those normal places. Sometimes it's just you need to do some movement.A lot of people tell me after a hard day, they go to the gym, they hit the treadmill, or they hit the elliptical. I'm a morning exercise guy. If I don't do it in the morning, I'm not going to do it.Maybe this is a great time to have some conversation with somebody, a trusted friend, a spouse or a partner. Or maybe you just need some rest. You don't necessarily need a receipt for that. It doesn't have to be spending.Which leads me to this create a healthy rewards list. We talked about that. Willpower isn't enough. So maybe for you, you write down five or ten options. I'll give you some examples right now.Maybe get a hot shower and listen to some of my worship music. Or maybe take a 10 minute walk outside. I was having a tough day yesterday.The end of tax season is coming for me and I'm really trying to get stuff done. I went for a walk outside. I live on a cow farm. I listened to the cows and watched them eating grass. And it just helped me focus a little bit.Maybe call somebody who encourages you. Or text with somebody that encourages you. Maybe read one chapter of something uplifting. The Bible is a great place to do that.Maybe light a candle and write down your thoughts. Do some stretching for five minutes. My massage therapist, she says, Ralph, one of the best things you could do is stretch your body.You get tightened up during the day. And if you just take some time and just stretch it out. So when that urge hits, you go to your list. You're not improvising in that stressful moment.But of course, the other thing you've got to do is you got to budget for this stuff. So budget for intentional joy in your life. You're allowed to celebrate. It's okay to celebrate, but plan it.Put it into your budget, a small monthly category for guilt free rewards. And when it's planned, it's peaceful. You don't want it to be reactive because reactivity leads to regret. But then I want to end with this.Re anchor your definition of rest. Think about what Jesus said. Jesus didn't say, come to me and I'll give you distraction. He never said that.Oh, come to me and I'll give you distraction. No, what did he say? He said, come to me and I will give you rest. Real rest restores your soul. The problem is shopping stimulates your mind.And there's a difference. There, isn't there? So remember this. Rest restores, spending stimulates. And what do you really want?When you're tired, you don't want more stimulation. You want rest. So here's your win for today. I want you to really do this today. Write your 10 minute pause ritual and your healthy reward list.Put pen to paper, put it on your phone, wherever you're gonna look at it. And when that hard Day hits, you're not going to react anymore because you've got a plan.Which leads me to today's Bible verse, and I already kind of told you what it was today. It's from the Book of Matthew, chapter 11, verses 28 to 30. This is one you need to put everywhere. Again, this is Jesus talking.Matthew 11:28 30 says, Come to me, all of you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls, for my yoke is easy and my burden is light. What is Christ telling us? It's a beautiful thing when you see it. He's telling us that true rest comes from him.Not consumption, not buying, not spending. True rest comes from him. So lay it at his feet. Let's do that right now, together. Lord, you see how tired my friend is?You see the weight they're carrying? You see the temptation to soothe it quickly with spending.So, Lord, right now we just ask that you would help us to slow down, help us to find real rest in you and help us to build healthier rhythms that restore instead of regret. Lord, calm our minds, strengthen our discipline, and give us true peace at the end of those long hard days. And we ask this in Jesus name.Amen, friend. You do reserve rest that restores, not relief that leads to more regrets. So focus on that today.And if you've got a question for this show, I would love to hear your question. The whole central focus of this show is answering questions.We've just revamped this site so you can go to financiallyconfidentchristian.com/question we'll put a link in the show notes. You just go right to the show notes, click on that link. It takes you right there. Simple question financiallyconfidentchristian.com/questionThank you so much for joining me today. I encourage you stay financially savvy, get the rest you deserve. God bless you and you have a truly great day today.